Tag:

normal

It’s the planning that keeps me going …

by tbd 10/28/2014

written by tbd

I know it’s crazy, but the planning keeps me going.

While I may have spontaneous impulses to end it, there are matters that only I can tie up. Considering the potential grief I might cause by my passing of “natural causes”, it seems as though I should at least leave things as up to date and sellable as possible.

While considerate timing has been important in the past, in reality, no time is a good time, but it probably would be best if I could make it through the holidays, but I’m not married to it. Late spring would be best, … but why in […]

10/28/2014 0 comment

Hi

by velvet7 10/26/2014

written by velvet7

Hi,

I’m Velvet. I don’t want to kill myself, but I am thinking about it. I’m thinking about it because part of me hates myself. I have no one who would really give a damn. The people that are close to me, either take advantage of me or abuse or dismiss me. So, I am nothing and nobody to anyone. So, what’s the point?

That’s basically it for now. I’m at the bottom of a huge, big barrel that’s always been there, waiting for me. Waiting to absorb me.

Well, I don’t know if I should stay in bed all day tomorrow and lick my wounds, or if […]

10/26/2014 3 comments

Normal/Abnormal

by marz 10/24/2014

written by marz

Is it normal to think about cutting all the time?

10/24/2014 3 comments

feelings

by Eyeore 10/19/2014

written by Eyeore

Will the feeling of hopelessness ever go away?. Will I ever feel or just even be normal again?. Why do i still have suicide thaughts even though i went through all this counselling seeing all the dr’s even being on meds for almost 2 years freaken….. i am so messed up

10/19/2014 4 comments

Save my soul.

by FlaviaV 10/17/2014

written by FlaviaV

How can I be alive if I’m barely breathing? I’m lying on the cold floor and trying to cry, but no tears are coming out. You’ve made me lose my mind. You broke my heart, drained my tears and destroyed my soul. For what? Is it that nice to hurt someone? To wreck a perfectly normal girl? Huh? Does it make you feel better about yourself? Does it help with your self esteem? Tell me, darling. Make me understand why you did this to me. It’s all I want. To know why. Then I can die in peace. I’m begging you. Tell me what I […]

10/17/2014 2 comments

Help to resolve my problem

by Vicky 10/16/2014

written by Vicky

I don’t know why i am getting tense often. i feel bad about my current situation. just these 2 months everyone thinks i am not normal. i also feel the same. plzzzzzzz help me to overcome my problem. advance in thanks…

i am not good in english. if any mistakes mean forgive me.

10/16/2014 5 comments

Unwanting to do anything

by blueorchid123 10/13/2014

written by blueorchid123

Living and killing myself are both just too hard and take too much effort. I am tired of exerting myself everyday, trying to appear like I’m normal and belong on this Earth. All I want to do is lie in bed, put blankets over my head, and somehow stop my incessant thoughts. If I did this though, I would once again be treated as if my personal rights did not exist. My space would be invaded once again. I wouldn’t be allowed to do anything again on my own. My overprotective parents wouldn’t let me sleep alone or do work in my room alone or […]

10/13/2014 4 comments

sucks balls

by schizophrenia 222 10/11/2014

written by schizophrenia 222

Fuck depression sucks big time, the only time I’m not depressed is when I’m drunk or asleep.

Take me to a better place lord I want out from my illness. Doing it as soon as I save up for an older style car. The pain free way until then, living out this rotten existence is the only way.

I can’t even get a job no motivation and when I did all I had was an increase in voices through the radio. Thought I was tough living as a schizophrenic but I’m not can barely function and all I want is alcohol and tobacco to make me feel […]

10/11/2014 6 comments

Maybe

by lostchild445 10/10/2014

written by lostchild445

Maybe I’m not meant for this
Perhaps all the drops and twists were not hurdles
But barriers, put up to show me I should stop

I try I fail I try again
But never can I succeed
Every time I attempt to lead a normal persons life
I get sucked down and stuck and faced with more strife

Maybe I’m not meant to live

10/10/2014 1 comment

Who’s from Reno, or surrounding areas?

by EvilKitten 10/5/2014

written by EvilKitten

I’m bored and need friends. Chatting in person is pretty nice. So I’m wondering who here is from Reno or within reasonable distance. Maybe we can get a support group going here or just have coffee and try to feel “normal” for a little while.

10/5/2014 2 comments

Fucking. Great.

by AarinaDaae 10/2/2014

written by AarinaDaae

So, if you’ve been following me at all…I’m out of the hospital and living alone in my apartment. People are still in denial that anything ever happened. Tonight is the first night that i’m not under watchful eye. So guess what I decided to do? I decided to go out and about and enjoy the cool night air. I drove to my campus and parked as normal. As I was backing out of my parking space after I had enough night air and a people dart out behind me. I hit my brakes and another car comes flying past me, so I shove it in […]

10/2/2014 2 comments

It’s getting closer to my time to go

by ihateeverything 10/2/2014

written by ihateeverything

So, this is my first time posting and I’ll try to keep it short. My life has actually been pretty normal but i still have overwhelming darkness that over takes me somtimes. It used to be triggered by big events but more and more it’s small and insignificant things that send me on a downward spiral. I’ve read posts on this site off and on for my two years or so and sometimes it gives me enough perspective to realize that my life probably isn’t as bad as it feels or as i perceive it to be. However, I still find myself contemplating ending it. […]

10/2/2014 3 comments

by E 9/30/2014

written by E

I’ve been suicidal before I’ve wanted to hurt myself before, but I’ve never had images, visions, of hurting myself like i have recently. Its getting brutal, what’s going on with me. I could be doing anything playing with my sister having a fag drinking tea and ill just want to grab knife and just want to stab myself repeatedly legs chest everywhere, surely this isn’t normal? I mean I’ve been suicidal for years I’ve never experienced anything like this?

9/30/2014 1 comment

Feeling worthless

by Shouldknow 9/27/2014

written by Shouldknow

I imagine my story is a lot like everyone else’s. Crud family & upbringing, string of abusive men, over achieving intellectual, unemployed, getting older, desperate to be normal & fit in. All I’ve ever got right is my two boys. My life shouldn’t cause suicidal thoughts, but last night I tried again. Obviously didn’t work. Ex saved me. I just see no point to my existence…at all.

9/27/2014 4 comments

Just to introduce myself

by Gollum 9/17/2014

written by Gollum

Howdy ,

I’m Gollum , male , 45 years old . Digital artist , broke , over-sensitive , tired , struggling with (“not-so-heavy-anymore”) depression since 2006 , when a very unexpected , painful & unhealthy divorce (after a decade and 1/2 of a very happy life) , put me in the deepest depths (ooo the pleonasm^^) of the well . I don’t have children btw .

Why Gollum as username ? (I could also have chosen Darth Vador , or Mr Hyde)

As an artist , I’ve always been into literature , imagery , music … Basically , I’m just fascinated by the evolution of these fictional characters […]

9/17/2014 9 comments

Only a month

by tupsa 9/14/2014

written by tupsa

On September 10th after what had possibly been the worst 2 months of my life, heartbroken for the 100th time in a row, alone, hopeless, I decided to give myself only one more month to live. I decided to be romantic about the date since is the first anniversary of the death of my second child.

I have to admit, a month sounded like no time at all but it has turned out to be quite long. Whit no affairs to sort, no family or friends to write to, no debts to clear (and no money to pay them if I had them) no job to […]

9/14/2014 0 comment

A tree is typing

by annakarenina 9/13/2014

written by annakarenina

Have you ever felt like a tree whose branches can not stretch out? The other seeds that were born along with you grow up as humans and you are the only one who actually a tree. People ask your protection when the sun is hot, or simply ignoring you. I kinda assure myself from time to time that ‘Well! It’s finally normal now, but then you see things become worse again and you feel you’re suck again and sick of it.’ It is more or less like an eternal death or a time paradox. There are blind people, homeless ppl, deaf ppl, and I have this […]

9/13/2014 0 comment

Anyone else here diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder?

by DC001 9/12/2014

written by DC001

Just wondering if anyone here has ever been diagnosed with this. I was recently, and I wish I would have gotten help sooner for it, now it may be too late to try to change my life in a meaningful way. Over a year ago I went on some nonsensical manic rant on youtube and got the attention of all kinds of people, then I kept at it via ranting into search engines knowing my system was compromised and anything I wrote was being seen and pissed like the whole world off, not to mention the people i pissed off fanned the flames further. At […]

9/12/2014 3 comments

Happiness. :^)

by Holo44 9/12/2014

written by Holo44

It’s a smile, a laugh, an ejaculation. Whatever it may be for you, the combination of neurotransmitters causing it will return to baseline and you will be sober, normal again, slowly but surely and without fail. The only rational way to preserve your sanity is to be 100% content with normal, sober existence which is unspeakably difficult for innumerable reasons that are beyond our control a huge majority of the time. You’re not 5 years old, I’m not going to go into why.

My innermost desire is to be at the very peak of pure, unadulterated happiness a human can experience and get beheaded right then. […]

9/12/2014 20 comments

Your opinion?

by DayDreamer6 9/11/2014

written by DayDreamer6

Things are hectic. I have no control anymore. The more I tried to be normal the further away I was. I participated in “normal” activities. Yet I would always end up in the same place.

Crying my eyes out.

Alone.

In the closet.

Blade in my right hand.

Twiddling between my pointer and thumb.

Waiting for relief.

Asking whoever is listening, ‘why’.

Convincing myself not to do it.

Never believing.

Why can’t I be like all the reindeer in the reindeer games?

Red.

9/11/2014 0 comment

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