Things are hectic. I have no control anymore. The more I tried to be normal the further away I was. I participated in “normal” activities. Yet I would always end up in the same place.
Crying my eyes out.
Alone.
In the closet.
Blade in my right hand.
Twiddling between my pointer and thumb.
Waiting for relief.
Asking whoever is listening, ‘why’.
Convincing myself not to do it.
Never believing.
Why can’t I be like all the reindeer in the reindeer games?
Red.