Tag:
not myself
Hi guys,
I just wanted to write something down that somehow really pisses me of.
It’s not that I’m suicidal (I was last year, but now I’m over it)
It’s because I don’t feel like… yeah, like myself, somehow. I don’t feel like fitting into my life or into my body, you know what I mean? I don’t think I’m ugly or so, it’s just not MY body I think. I don’t recognize myself on pictures or in the mirror, I feel like looking at another person especially when I see pictures that were taken last year. I had long blond hair and used to wear pink or […]
Well I’ve lasted the night out, and half of the day so far. Except I can’t help but realize what a danger I am to myself. When I get suicidal, I become irrational, and as soon as a little bit of rationality gets into my brain, even if I am still suicidal, I become afraid of myself. I become afraid of what I can and will do to myself. Others don’t scare me, I don’t have monsters in my closet, because I am that very monster that haunts myself. Even today I’ve tried to jump off stairs countless times already hoping I would hurt myself. […]