I’ve been up all night thinking….is today the day? Tomorrow? Tuesday? …seconds keep turning into minutes that keep turning into hours that keep turning into days that keep turning into weeks that keep turning into months that keep turning into years….Life keeps going….Its unforgiving…you miss the bus you miss the bus there is no catching it….I keep lingering and festering like an open wound exposed to germs … I hate that the sun rises signaling the end of yesterday and the beginning of today….I fucking hate that today is the future that seemed so promising 5 years ago…I turn 22 next month on the 5th […]
Tag:
Open Wound
i’ve began cutting again .. it seems when the blood runs all my depression washes away with it. the open wound is like my soul beginning to glow shinning bright to destroy all the darkness. But the darkness still lingers, in my mind. Forever trapped, like a maze turning into every dead end. Searching. Looking. Finding my light that brings me out of this horrific nightmare. I feel like my mind has put walls up all around my thinking. I can’t think too much anymore as my brain begins to hurt and spin. The walls only fall down at night when i wish to sleep. […]
What am I afraid of?
I guess the feeling that I am completely alone and that there was nobody to help me. In that moment, I felt all the other times in my life when I had been left alone and in pain. It felt like a knife was jabbing into an open wound on my chest. I could barely breathe, My sadness was so deep that it blinded me to any other realities. My biggest fear has surfaced. I believed that I would be stuck forever in the empty, painful feeling of my loneliness.