I completely lost it. I don’t know how to get up anymore, today i did it more as a mechanism, because people do that, they get up. My hands are shaking, I am terribly afraid of myself. I can’t control my actions anymore. It seems like another person lives inside me, controling my mind, giving a false perception of reality. I think i am insane, I don’t want to be and the thought of it makes me cry. People have so many expectations of me but i just wish i can tell them who i really am. And more than anything i wish they could […]
Tag:
Outburst
Now I know every one who has ever killed himself or herself never had a good reason to do so (according to others). Still they do….. and will go on taking their own life, rejecting this wonderful gift given by God. Maybe to some this gift is not at all a gift. I don’t see it as a gift. For me life had always been a burden. Humanity is not like a Jane Austin book. It is at most times stark ugly and cruel. There are no happy endings in life just some good stuff followed by a lot of  bad stuff, then a good […]
When i was in rehab i was forced into group therapy, I was only a week into rehab so i was still feeling the effects of withdrawal, So lets just say i was not in the best of moods.
(Day 1)
When it came round to my turn, i said the words, my name is Shane and im a addict. (It didnt really feel like a big step, but it was, i see that now)
She asked me why i started doing drugs.
i said ” why does anyone do drugs, they want to escape the shityness of there live’s”(I was less cordial then)
She said “Yes, but what was it […]