I know that those silly tests about depression on the Internet don’t count as an actual diagnosis, but I still take them every once in a while. I used to get results saying that I was just feeling a bit sad; more recently, I’ve been getting one concerning answer: I’m severely depressed. My most recent school year was extremely stressful, and there were times at which I couldn’t handle it. I just wanted to give up and throw my life away, especially when my final grades didn’t even end up as I wanted them. I think all of that stress and failure really took a […]
Tag:
Pathetic
I come here tonight to freely express my feelings and thoughts without the fear of being judged and with the hope that someone out there may understand. Okay ….let’s be honest, there’s still a shit load of fear, but I say fuck it.
I’m still having quite a rough time. My depression is weighing heavy in my head. Can barely lift it up. My isolation is at an all time high. The majority of my  “friends” are occupied anyway. I don’t feel like I have any true friends. But I’m sure my isolation had a big part in that. I just have no drive. I’m afraid […]
It’s been at the back of my mind for a while. But now I’ve come to realise that it’s more than just suicidal thoughts. I’ve gotten to a point where I just have this really strong feeling that there’s something not right about me being alive. It’s not a result of bullying or any sort of trauma, it’s just a feeling, a really strong one. Over the past few weeks I’ve been putting myself through relatively dangerous “tests” to see whether I belong here or not. So far, I’ve survived them (clearly) but they’re not enough proof for me that I belong anymore. I just […]
I have experienced too much pain and to little joy in my young life.
i have always feelt unease with myself since aslong as i remember but 3 years ago i had enough, enough of people mocking me or making me a laughing stock, i started to do something i never thought i’d do and that was planing my own suicide and even writing a big letter to people (Family at most) and 4 people that i have keep in touch with thanks to a suicidal chat.
Today its gone 3 years since i planed my suicide but i still havnt done it, im overwhelmed with guilt […]
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