I have no one to talk to about this. My mother has d.i.d. I have known this for years, she’s been on meds, therapy, whatever.
I have never “seen” her like this. Delusional, i think she thinks we’re talking in person, IN AN EMAIL. She has told me they are increasing her meds. I can’t talk to her about this, because idk if she knows whats going on in the real world. I am 2500 miles away and would really appreciate some feedback. I have two emails I need an outsiders opinion.
This was totally not specific enough. […]
It’s not something as dramatic as suicide but I want your help.
The last three years, I have been in a very weird phase of my life. When I go outside , alone, I feel that people are thinking bad things of me and I feel that there is a big cloud over my head and they can see whatever I have on my mind. I am overweight and I eat unhealthy food with big ammounts on my plate. It’s not like I am a glutton but it’s like I force myself to eat it. I have never had a real friend. Noone that I could […]
I’ve lost everything, my friends, my sister, my happiness. I use to be the happy person that would high five everyone in the hallway, the person you could count on. “Your the problem” “your not good enough” “why would I wanna hang out with a freak like you’ is all I hear now. Rejection and misery welcome me like my blanket at night. My friend’s all turned their back on me, and my sister, the only family I felt I could actually talk to and enjoy, is gone from this world, now all I have is my yorkie, I went into homeschool because the bullying […]
I’m testing tomorrow to graduate, sure it’s with a GED, but it’s more than I’ve ever expected to do in life.
Like I’ve said before, I never imagined living past a certain age… But to be turning 17 next month, and to be graduating this month… It feels so unreal. I’ve already been asked so many times what I plan to major in, but honestly I’m not sure what I want to do with a life I didn’t even want to keep. I want to make a difference, I really do, but I’m just one person y’know? and I don’t know exactly how I’m going to […]
School is managed to turn me from someone willing to learn and grow into a person with bleak eyes who memorises facts only to be tested on them. It has managed to turn me into a person who perceives death and expulsion as the same thing.
I am just so tired of living. There is nothing here for me. I had to be home schooled the last year of high school due to finding out I have a rare genetic disease. The main symptoms are major organ failure and extreme burning pain in my hands and feet. I have only met one other man like myself with this disease in person. Not being able to do all the stuff I enjoyed my best friend grew apart a just quit associating with me completely. I was in the hospital a lot due to the pain and kidney failure. Now I have to […]
I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’ve been avoiding everyone and one person that’s the hardest to avoid is my boyfriend since he lives 1000+ miles away and looks forward to talking to me everyday. Last night I told him everything that was wrong since I’ve been pushing him away for a few days and he wouldn’t let me get away with it. I told him about my excessive drinking, my smoking cigarettes again (I broke my promise to him), me taking pills, cutting myself and not eating. He tried helping me he was so frustrated and just wanted to do what he […]
last night I had 8 xanex, which mellowed me out, than today I had a 12 pack of natural ice. But I built up such a tolerance to everything that the highs don’t last long. I can’t stop thinking about what happened last night. All these hopes and dreams I had for that fake person just shattered me. How can one break a glass that’s already been broken? I hate this fucking bullshit.
I will start with writing about my life and will start with sharing information about a period slighty before that I came to exist in this world. In this period of life my my father-to-be and mother-to-be were going through a rough period of their relationship and which was not stable and while most people with common sense would work on the relationship or choose to go seperateways I had a mother who had a very different plan and apparantly wanted to keep my father with her for reasons unknown to me and in order to achieve this she made a hole in the condom […]
and see people delete their posts and accounts,
people fade away or suddenly disappear,
arguments and long, carefully written comments left just to show someone they care.
Something’s been rising in my head again, and reading through this site makes it more alive. It makes suicide seem more possible. That seems dangerous to me now, but it’s also a relief to be somewhere where it’s not something you have to keep hidden. It’s a relief just to see it written about.
Is there anyone else here who’s been away for a while? I’ve been back from time to time but I’ve spent more time here in the past few […]
Whether or not they have a terminal illness, shouldn’t they decide if they want their life to end? People are allowed to have abortions. If you can determine when to end an unborn child’s life, then how come it’s such an issue whether or not we can end our own? If anyone can help me find effective ways to end my life, I would appreciate it greatly. Please email me at ceasethecranium@yahoo.com if you would like to talk about it.
Hello, everyone.
I am a miserable person, I hate my life. I know nothing will ever be perfect for me. Pointless. I am nothing more than a catfish, ugly on the outside and ugly on the inside.
I can’t go anywhere, I can’t see anyone, I can’t do anything. I am so tired of being so despised.
Sometimes I think I can do this, I can live like a normal person, but I can’t.
Happiness is so fleeting.
I long for that little rush of adrenaline that comes from someone loving you, but when they find out who I am they always leave me. Even if I tell you too […]
When I finally get the courage to step out of this joke called life, I want my obituary to be honest. “She is survived by her cats, the only living creatures that loved her unconditionally. Some people on a website might be sad she’s gone, but the rest of us couldn’t be bothered to treat her like anything but a burden while she was alive. We’ll just brush aside the fact she was the most loyal person we ever met. Thank goodness she’s gone!”
So, my post where I add a link with all my posts in the forum has been removed. Please explain why, how it breaks the forum rules. If it breaks them, I accept it. But how it breaks the rules.
Some people made severe accusations toward me, I asked for proof, they said they are not interested to give proofs.
So, how you could accuse someone without proof?
I have a text file with all my comments in the forum. I will post here or send it to you, or you could check by yourself.
I don’t want to troll here, or create dramas, but when someone accuse another […]
You know if someone annoys you or you get in a fight? you can easily walk away from them right? or ignore them forever. But what if that person is yourself? you have no escape, youre stuck with yourself forever. and that scares me a lot.. like i cant just take a break from being around me.
this is a video of the trains that come though my home town. Notice the very low bumper on this coal train? It would be very easy to fling me off instead of decapitating me like I wanted to happen. Plus these trains don’t travel very fast, like a bullet fired from a shotgun would. I watched a number of these videos. Coal trains like this one have that bumper to sweep shit off the tracks, like a person. http://youtu.be/EEZ0JkOcO1Q
I’m so tired of being me, of being myself and not being able to get away from this monster. I want to change everything about myself, i want to become a new person, a better person. But no matter how hard i try everything gets ruined again, and i have no energy left to try anymore. I just want to end everything but i know i cant and that makes things so much harder. I just wanted to get that out somewhere as i have no one to tell… I’m so ready to give up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc8kH3d6Bf8
why is it that I always am left with the benefit of the doubt? it’s annoying. I don’t have aspergers but I feel like I do sometimes and I cant control it. I feel like no one understands me at all. like im left to suffer. it depresses me. it disappoints me when I don’t hear the correct words I expect of the other person. at least a feedback. always happens when im in college. like no one likes me for some reason I don’t know why. I feel stupid and it makes me look like it. I guess i’ll be dying alone then […]
I’m a selfish person for thinking about killing myself is what I keep hearing from family. I have a special sensitivity and I see the world and people and I see their hearts, all of their bitterness, coldness, ambition: the same things I see in myself sometimes. I don’t belong here. Maybe afterlife will bring me to where God is, a heaven better than this place. I’m here because I’m guilt tripped into staying here by my family. I don’t find happiness in earthly things and I certainly don’t like being judged constantly. I just want to BE. Can that place be found here? I […]