Lately it seems like everything is falling apart. I used to be so into church. God was everything to me. I finally got married to the woman of my dreams. I had a crush on her since i was just a boy. Everything seemed to be going great. We were married on July 28th 2012. Almost a year now. I had a great job, was a member of a wonderful church, and things seemed like they couldn’t get any better. Then i lost my job last December just before Christmas! Everything started to go down hill from there. Things seemed like they were going to […]
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Preacher
I woke up feeling heavy today. I straighten up and I knew why. The hurt and pain and disappointments, discouragement, hatred and sins were all piled up in this sack of mine called pride that it became so heavy I woke up because I knew it’s getting hard to breathe. If I were boiling, I knew it would gonna throw the lid up the kettle and burst any moment. And I heard something within me that says, ‘listen to what Max Lucado says to you today’ and I immediately get it. It’s a minute MP3 kind of like a voice recorded by an author and […]
I was talking on here last night to exhausted, and mentioned that one of my neighbors had killed himself. I was the last person to see him alive. We all called him Bailey.
Bailey was a Vietnam vet, a “catch-up hippie” who never got to be part of the hippie movement but who embraced the ideals behind it with a passion once he got back from the war. I don’t know that much about his youth, but I do know who he became, and what he meant to all of us. Its kind of ironic, but Bailey was the hero of our little circle of friends, […]
Farmerstrong13: are you a preacher? Are you an Evangelical born again Christian? It seems rather presumptuous to promise someone, that with God’s help things will get better or that God will even help them. The key to recovery and good mental health is not found in a church but in a persons’ ability to grasp reality and run with it, and even accept it. Reality is not in a church pew or in a preacher’s sermon. Most of the time people can find a way out of their distress by logic, good friends, a change of location and a different point of view…or even antidepressants.
You […]
I don’t really know what to name this post. By the time I finish posting it’ll be past midnight. At night is when my mind is most active. I think about the same shit over and over and it continually replays in my head. I hate having memories. I have an excel one and I feel cursed by it. I just want to go back in time or start my life completely over. I’ve always felt this way. I can’t envision my future at all. It’s like it isn’t even there. I just wish I could get a break through. Just once i wish something […]
I thought I was nothing once…
It seemed I was a small, insignificant part of the world, and when I died everything would keep moving forward as if I didn’t ever existed in the first place. My hopelessness… my struggles… they were all too much for me. I was ready to die, not knowing what was on the other side, but hoping it was better than the hell I was living.
I was two years old when my parents divorced. I was the daughter of a 24 year old Sunday School Teacher and a beautiful 18 year old High School Graduate, but others in our community […]