Fuck A Title

I don’t really know what to name this post. By the time I finish posting it’ll be past midnight. At night is when my mind is most active. I think about the same shit over and over and it continually replays in my head. I hate having memories. I have an excel one and I feel cursed by it. I just want to go back in time or start my life completely over. I’ve always felt this way. I can’t envision my future at all. It’s like it isn’t even there. I just wish I could get a break through. Just once i wish something extraordinary would happen to me. But, that’s life, and life sucks. I’ve always had on and off depression. My mind is always racing. Listen, to those of you that are depressed and or suicidal, I’m not a preacher, a lecturer, a critic, nor am I judgmental. But, we all suffer, and we all have our limits. I’m tired of living, and tired of giving everything only to get nothing in returned and everything going to shit as much as the next guy… But, life is meaningless. We all die anyway. I won’t say things will be okay or get better…because they don’t. Idk, how this is supposed to help, but just know there are others. We’re not alone in spirit. I’m just cruising on along with life, just waiting…. I’m sick of feeling this way….. I wish, I’d wake up in a different time…I hate everything… I’m sick of being constricted. Nothing feels real anymore, in fact, I don’t think it ever really did…. A part of me refuses to give in, and another part wants to end it all… But, I’m stuck, I can’t die, and I can’t live….what do I do? I wish God would talk to me….