went out today. first time this summer holiday. wore a midi dress for the first time this year but felt too exposed and walked around for 3 hours with my wool shawl pulled and hugged tight against my body in the sweltering heat. Today i was being judged to see if he wants me as part of his possy, so to speak. my best friend is part of the group, she said they’re nice and friendly. i didnt notice though, i was too absorbed in my anxious thoughts, looking out for people from school that i’d have to hide from. People make me uncomfortable. he […]
Tag:
Quirks
I have this friend, he’s awesome. And sometimes I actually let him in, emotionally. I don’t do that to anybody. I hide my feelings fairly well unless instigated. He’s getting fed up with my lack of concern towards myself. I wish I could just be like, “I’m really just venting, let me freak out. It’s fine, I’m not going to cut up.”. But alas here I am, getting all guilted up because I can’t change who I am. I’m completely worthless. Don’t try to tell me I’m not, I know the truth. I can’t literally remember a moment that didn’t end in guilt or shame. […]