I have failed yet again. I was just taken out of the hospital and I am now on a 24/7 Suicide watch. I thought I had finally succeeded when I had seen the bright Hospital lights. I guess the real reason I Am typing this is that I need a fast way to be gone. I have tried hanging, OD, cutting of and artery and drowning. Please I need a fast and almost painless way. I need fast becAuse although my parents don’t care about me I have one “friend” I guess but he calls if he doesn’t hear from me every 2 hours. […]
Tag:
Real Reason
A mind that asks many questions
A mind mind that realizes there will never be any answers
A pair of eyes that cry in the wrong direction
A red heart longing for affection
I know the truth
And I want my heart to stop beating
For love in another means nothing if your own is slowly depleting
I’ve hated my life and the people who had to be in it
The horrible ones
And my useless mind and it’s emotions
No I’ve done my meditation
And like a band aid it covers over the wound temporarily
And I’ve been in counselling
And few understand I’m rare you see
And […]
I can’t remember the last time I was truly happy.
I have no real friends that I can talk to anymore and I have no idea what I truly want to do or where my life is going. I went to college and I have a stable job. But I didn’t make it in life. I am an average person; I am a loser. I wake up, go to work, eat, shower, watch TV, eat, read a book, sleep—repeat. That’s it. Nothing spectacular but nothing that miserable.
I am afraid this is my life. This is it. There is nothing more.
I no longer have any real desire. […]
I’m almost 17 and I’ve had social problems my whole life. I BELIEVE I might have a personality disorder, although I don’t really know. The problem with getting diagnosed, treated, etc is that I’ve grown accustomed to faking a lot of interaction with people. I’ve seen four or five psychologists and stuff now, with no real results. Most of them just sent me off saying I was fine after five or six visits. I know I’m not ‘fine’. I used to have anger management when I was really young, like 8 or something. Then later on (still age eight) my mother tried to kill herself. […]
I am a 23 year old engineer. I became interested in this site a while back when I was feeling low. I am fascinated by all the stories. The things that make people depressed, stories of overcoming or triumph or despair.
This is my first entry. I guess I just need a vent. I don’t have any real reason to be depressed except perhaps only within the chemistry of my brain.
It has been a week and 3 days since I last tried to kill myself.
It was during the Christmas/New Year break that my mother discovered that I’d been dating an Asian for nearly a year. […]
I want to kill myself. Simple as. I hate myself so much and I know, in order to improve the lives of those around me I must die. There’s some fancy new bridge opening soon near my home. I’m planning on making the opening ceremony something to remember. Lol.
People always say there’s something out there to live for. But I’ve hung around enough times before. I tipped away a lethal conconction full of pills, bleach and other household cleaning products once to give myself another chance. Then I tried to jump out of a window, only I got stuck because I’m so fat. But this […]
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