for a very very long time i have felt distanced from my family from people from life. i mean eight grade was the darkest time of my life… i faked my way out of a suicide/depression test so i could get out of therapy convinced i didnt have a problem i would never do anything its all words and words dont mean anything. but words mean alot and words can hurt a lot. for as long as i cna remember i have been pushed away by my parents. they have no love for me. i have two younger sisters who absorb all their attention and […]
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Sandwiches
when you are REALLY tired, you always want the easy way out, its like listening to a scratched record over and over again when someone who thinks they know really doesnt know, and they try to preach to you. i remembered my mentally handicapped brother god rest his soul being tied to a radiator in the bathroom with a belt while my 22 yr old mother ran the street and left us, i remember being locked in a room for days with a skeleton key without food or water and being BEAT for sneaking out trying to find something to eat. i remember there being nothing in […]
I pop on most days to work on a project, or to write a reply. Some days I’ll just read quietly. I speak up when I have something to share but I realize my voice just like before doesn’t mean much.
When I was younger I was a listener and I was forced to be a talker. To be a talker to make myself clear and to stop assumptions about me.
A phrase rings through my head “You can’t be a hero” at 12 years old my father did everything to crush my hopes. I did little things, I donated a little money, I held open […]