When we feel love or something like that for someone, we learn to suffer and hate like that person.We feel what they feel and sometimes we feel more. My cousin, my sister, we’re all scapegoats in this family. I am the little rude *****, my cousin Laura is a stupid satanic slut with a shitty life because of her black painted nails. And Layla, oh, the poor  little fat girl. She’s the destroyer and the devil, the sinner who ended our relative peace, because she tented grampa to sin and we all know he is a great man of God and that she is the […]
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Scapegoats
I’m terrified. And I feel completely alone.
I have not hurt myself since January and I have been on the right path not to, but I somehow can’t seem to hold it together lately. My anxiety has increased. My insomnia has increased. Even my fucking smoking has increased. Chainsmoking. Bad. But I use all of these things – my nerves, my lack of sleep, my bad habits – as scapegoats to escape what’s really bothering me. And the thing is, I think I know what’s bothering me but I’d rather not even say it out loud or even think about it, so I store it somewhere […]