In my mind’s eye
Exists a place of peace
Where I no longer fail
Still & quiet
My ethos in riot
In my peripheral vision
Untamed incisions on my wrists
Testify
The nature of my intent
I deserved to die
Written by me March 20.2012
It’s 4pm and I’m sitting here drinking liquid courage. I guess I’m just looking for suicidal people to talk to at this moment, because I like you lot.
I feel like you get it. Thanks.
Even though I’m more of a lurker, I’ve enjoyed the words I’ve had with some of you. You make me feel less crazy.
I feel like I snapped today, and now I should just get it over with. Because everyone thinks I’m mad at them but I’m not. I’m just mad at myself. And I wish I wasn’t out of tequila.
I guess I’m seeking a distraction right now.
This is suppose to be over 30 days, but I’ll probably forget about it if I do that, so I’ll do it all now. To be honest, I don’t cut anymore, but I still thought it would be useful to do.
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
On and off for around three years. The first time I started when my brother tried to commit suicide and all the stress from that.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
Legs, breasts, back, you know, all the places that are easy to hide the scars
3. What […]
I feel so confused… One minute I want to die, and the next I wish someone was here to tell me everything is going to be okay. I’m so unhappy with myself and I feel like such a failure. I know it’s all growing pains but I’ve felt so sad since I was in high school. I hate these hormones, or whatever is causing me to feel so sad. It’s a cycle. I can’t eat because I’m sad, and I feel sad because I don’t eat. I can’t make up my mind whether I want to live or die.
The boy I live with, whom I […]
The last words he ever said, were said to me;Â his little princess, I had been.
I know it has been years but all the pain is still here
and all I bottled up keeps flowing out in never-ending tears.
I’ve used a blade and I’ve used pills but I’m filled with all this fear.
So I keep on breathing, dead and alive at the same time.
All I want is to make it stop, not my life but the feelings
Erase the scars and form real smiles
Because I really do want to stay here for a while.
IÂ cut. A lot..
I’ve done it for about a year. I swore to myself I would never harm myself like that, but look where I am now. I have an arm and two ankles covered in scars and cuts. I think of cutting as a stronger way of crying; i feel so weak just bursting into tears, so intsted i cut, it shows i’m strong enough to deal with pain. But now I know I need to stop. People who mean so much to me tell me I need to stop. I’m loosing people because of it. I nearly went to hospital because the bleeding wouldn’t stop. […]
Honestly, this is killing me. Everyday, I wake up..
My mom is on drugs and she wants nothing to do with me,
My brother is in prison.. And dad’s getting older. Nothing easy anymore.
Guys, (girls) This isnt a cry for help. This is an honest statement.
I can’t go on much longer.
I’m in a relationship with someone I’m so in love with, but I get ignored on a daily basis.
It hurts more than anything. I could be happy. I really could, but not like this.
I’ve attempted suicide 5 times
I have scars, and I’ve be committed into the hospital 3 times.
Okay, well this is my story..
I’m quite young and I’m broken. I’m depressed and suicidal, clearly.. and i selfharm. I put on the fakest smile every single day. I’m miserable, I just want to be dead, to be free, to be happy. I have tried to take my own life many times, I don’t really have a massive story. But my depression has taken over me, my self eestem is horrible, I can’t leave the house without crying, I’m horribly fat and aswell so ugly. I hate leaving the house because I usually don’t have the nicest clothes because i’m not rich, my family struggles […]
In October of last year, I was going to hang myself. I was living over six hours away at school. No one I knew there. Grades dropped to an all time low. Before I could do it, my mother withdrew me and brought me home, yelling the most obscene things at me. She knew nothing of my self harm or plans, and she made me feel like worse shit than I am. I went to the local high school again. Things got worse, but also better. I got a girlfriend. A good friend of mine died. So did my grandpa. I can’t bear to outlive […]
My face.
My body.
My voice.
My personality.
My scars.
My depression.
My parents.
My sisters.
The fact that I’m alive.
I don’t want to be breathing anymore.
I don’t want to exist.
I hate everything about me.
everyone makes suicide jokes around me
they make fun of cutters
they make fun of the disease that plagues my very existence.
does no one feel sympathy for mental illness in this world? just because its not directly killing me, no one gives a fuck.
People see my scars and smirk and whisper to one another. i wear black one day and instantly, im emo. i give up. i think im going to “trip” infront of a speeding SUV tomorrow.
Please, if I may reach out to anyone that can help me. I have been cutting on my thighs, and scars remain there. My family has decided that we should go to the beach for the last bit of summer. I have a pool, but all I do to hide my scars is wear shorts. They think I’m weird for doing this, but do not question it.
I’m not sure if I can get away with shorts on the beach. I am not old enough to refuse the beach, nor go to a store to buy scar creme. If you are experienced with these matters, please […]
Hello.
This is my note. This is the only place my note will ever be, because I’m too much of a coward to actually go through with this.
I’m nothing, I mean nothing to myself. I would really rather disappear into nothing. Scatter myself into a thousand and one atoms, floating peacefully in space. Instead I’m stuck here, in this colourless hell. The only person i can talk to won’t listen, I can’t tell her anyway. I love her too much to let her bear this.
Anyway, my name is Sian. I’m nearly sixteen, I have blonde hair and brown eyes. I’m a dancer, that’s how I define […]
Every day I hope that something can happen to make this easier for me. On my way to work, can someone run a red light and hit my car, can I just not wake up, can something out of my control happen, to just get me out of here. I don’t want to be here, and I haven’t for about a year. All these people who die in accidents, who are murdered, who just DIE… and here I am. Nothing…
I’ve been cutting for almost 10 years… I’m 24 years old, with the same habits I had in high school… it was never a ‘I want […]
I am not perfect. I have many regrets. I have the scars to remind me of my mistakes. I knew a boy in middle school. He was 10 and had beautiful hair. When we were in high school he overdosed. Six months ago, I went to visit my family. I saw my uncle as I was getting ready to go swimming with cousins. He wanted to talk but I told him I had to go. I took a picture with him, went swimming, came back home. A week later he hung himself. 5 days ago my friend put a gun to her head and killed […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
I’m not here to judge or talk you out of cutting, overdosing, or other means of escaping. Primarily because i myself have been through it all and still am. My life has been a constant shove here and there for me to pick up the blades i keep in my makeup bag. Scars dont bother me, the pain can be grown accustomed to. I have heard just about every cliche from people who swear they want to help. I am not a reject and have always done well in school and outside. I have friends and am not a total failure as a girl. But […]
This song means a lot to me.. Not sure if anyone else can relate.
Versus the world – Love every scar
I fell in love every scar on her wrists
And sad eyes told a story of every
Great thing that she’d missed
She doesnt call here anymore
She didn’t even say goodbye
Just a kiss blown to
The wind we didn’t catch in time
This can’t be right the night has just begun
And I already feel like I’m dead
I know I shouldn’t hate myself
I should be blaming this on you instead
Instead I’ll rewind these weeks in my mind
And I don’t think I’ll […]
Sometimes I wish I was normal but that’s never going to happen. Life is supposed to get better but I doubt that. All I feel is numbness and it’s better than the pain I felt before. The only thing stopping me from going through with suicide is my best friends wouldn’t be able to handle my death well. My mom stopped caring about me a long time ago but my dad would go crazy without me with him. I refuse to live for myself, I only live for them, although I don’t care about myself, I care too much about others to put them through […]
uhm, I’m new to this sort of thing, so, Hello, I have been reading some entry’s today. What sparked my interest in finding this site is that my mother and father are giving me a hard time, my Grandfather died yesterday of a stroke and things before where quite good. Now all of a sudden my friends are leaving me alone, my mother is out to make my bedroom a prison for me and I have so much anger and hatered that I have been keeping in check for a long time.
Im 16 years old, the guy I liked has abandon me, my Grandfather is gone, all […]