I can here with such high hopes and big dreams. I came here expecting things to go well, expecting to make it through with only a few scrapes. Little did I know those scrapes would turn into bullet holes. I’m applying for boarding school, and if I don’t get in, if everything isn’t perfect, it will be the end of the world. There’s no place for me to go after that. Death and failure are the same thing to me now. I’m so scared of what will happen if I fail that I can’t focus on anything else. Right now, it’s either I get in […]
Tag:
Scrapes
You pull me out of your hat
Whenever your down
But when I need you
There’s only darkness around
Wish you’d wave the wand
Every now and then
Maybe just respond
Cuz I could use a friend
But you keep me caged in
Until you have a bad day
Then you cry to me again
“Everything will be okay”
That’s all you wanna hear right?
That your ”cuts” will heal over night
But they’re just scrapes alright
Cuz I ain’t even ate tonight
Cuz you won’t feed me
But I don’t need three
Meals a day, just to say
“Hey, I’m gonna cut the bone today”
And I’m not competing
But your […]
I was just thinking. Why do people guilt trip over cutting themselves?
Who the fuck cares what other people think? (Well, maybe that’s more of my perspective.) It’s non-lethal, it hurts less than getting a tattoo, you just don’t get a pretty picture at the end. I mean, for pain itself, there would be constructive and productive things to do like yoga, or running till your legs give out, that hurt a lot more than some scrapes. The intensity of pain you feel from pushing your bodily limits are usually a lot worse than the actual act of cutting. If you consistently need stitches and […]
I find my self made cuts/scrapes on my arm to be beautiful. I like looking at them.
I actually feel really proud of myself for making them. (even though I’m proud of them I still try to hide them from my family)
Is that weird? ..
Sigh, although I  like them, I still feel like I’m crazy because I did that to myself. I feel like I am not okay in the head now because I was willing to do this … I don’t know, I’m thinking that was my first and last time though. Overall, I love these healing cuts. Love them
I just left class saying I had to go to the bathroom. I’m in there now. I had to leave because just looking at everything around me- pipes, rough walls, windows- I can’t shake the feeling of pounding my head, scraping my skin, or falling through the glass with by blood punctured skin. Right now I’m punching myself. I have scrapes all over my arm. For some reason I want people to see, so they know that there is something deeper in me beyond the shallowness of high school. I just feel like such an outsider. All my issues would just be so easy to […]
This is my story, just need to share.
I was raped (sodomized, whatever you want to call it) a few times when I was a kid by my uncle, my grandpa knew but didn’t say anything about it. Grew up with that hanging over my head, told a few friends but all they said was, “man, that sucks.” I didn’t really expect them to say much, but nothing would be better than that. It’s the reason I don’t have a gf, I’m afraid that that abuse will carry over. My parents got divorced when I was 7, dad remarried shortly after that to a […]