Tool has one of the most intelligent lyrics of any band I ever heard. The lyrics that jump out to me the most is “why can’t we not be sober, just want to start this over, why can’t we drink forever”…..then the next line is “why can’t we sleep forever”. – I can totally relate. I wanna drink forever and wish I could sleep forever. It’s a song that can have many different meanings in accordance with people’s personal experiences. It’s deeper than drug or alcohol addiction – for me, I want to just go and sleep forever. Being sober hurts because of my mental […]
Sober
A vast majority if my life as been spent sedate. Â This may seem like a bad thing. Perhaps it has stifled my coping mechanism. Either way the reality I the situation is this. when I was 16 I attempted Suicide. My parents foun me my stomach was pumped an I spent 9 weeks in the mental ward at the hospital, as long as another 5 months at a day treatment program. Truthfully at that time I wanted help. it seemed to me the more that I tried to use the services around me. The worse I really was, or the worse the people overseeing me […]
I’ve been fantasizing about my suicide for years. Up until today I just felt a lot of relief and peace from the thought. Now for the first time i feel a little panic and fear about dying. I feel like im hanging from a breaking thread hanging over a cliff it’s been “fun” till  now well maybe not fun exhilarating maybe like driving too fast. Now my inevitable suicide is close. I wish things had been different. I don’t want to die…suicide is the last resort. This fast drive has been “fun” till now. It’s finally set in just how  fast the brick wall is […]