i’ve been down since forever and this spring i’ve had enough. I feel trapped inside my heavy body and can¨t wait to get out. i avoid social situations but my BF has many friends and sometimes they come to our place. I mostly hide in my bedroom and he’s ashamed. But I can’t stand social situations. I start crying. Everyone’s looking weird at me and I’ve lost them forever, I will always be the weird chick that started crying. I hate it when my bf says i don’t try hard enough and that he’s ashamed of me. My dad used to tell me […]
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Social Situations
My Name is Markus Jolley, also I go by MJ. I have tried at least 12 attempts of suicide, all failing, and now all I have is myself. I have no family, and I live in a group home for troubled or stranded youth. When I did have a family, I developed differently than any other kid my age. The Tests for mental instability or disorders started when I was 5. I went through medical tests over and over, until an MRI was ordered on my brain. It turned out that I had Frontal Lobe Gliosis which looks like this. http://www.ajnr.org/content/24/2/218/F3.large.jpg
This Problem explained my functioning […]
So as it turns out one of my closest friends is gay. He came out about 4 days ago and we were all shocked because he has had more GF’s than me in the past. We didn’t really know what to say, we couldn’t really say much since he just text us this.
We all met up the other night and it was the first real test to see if things were going to be different just because he was gay.  I like to think we are an open minded bunch, and I also liked to think that I am not prejudiced against anyone for any reason. But you never really know if your comfortable […]
Been thinking.
Too much.
How do you change your thought process? I’m not talking about just negativity, here. The way you think. I’ve been so analytical in my thought process that the only way to change is to constantly brainwash myself towards another way of thinking, and that’s what I need to escape from. I want to live in a more direct “Living by the moment for the moment”, not “Living in my brain about the moment in the moment”. I can’t just “live”. I don’t need a happily ever after either. Just normal conversations with a person. My father. My friend. Anyone. (Yeah, I’m a […]
im dyslexic so some of my writing may read oddly. i am planning on taking my life.  i am female mid twenties and have been through the exhausting trial and error of meds ,GPs and counselors. my real issue is social exclusion and bullying. i m an easy target since i m painfully shy , unattractive , and i  am almost incapable of smiling, and being able to talk with flow and interest. i was a mute child and i find social situations very difficult. the only work i can get is retail , this is traumatic for me as talking to some difficult people can lead me with shakes, sweats , and  exstream anxiety. i am probably branded […]
Hi
The reason im posting this is because i want to get this off my chest.
I’m 15 and have being suicidal for nearly 2 years now. Before the last few months i was’nt serious about suicide but now i am and need to do this.
I’ve lost alot of friends over the last following months basically pushed them away. 11 months ago a girl local commited suicide,it did’nt no her that well but she had tons of friends, she was good looking, i guess she was just depressed like me.I don’t have uch friends, i have a couple who are friends but not close, […]
I’m not here to preach, I’m not here to tell you everything is going to be the same as it was, I’m not here to persuade you against the decisions you have already made, but maybe just maybe I can make you feel better about things. Even if it is only temporary.
Suicidal thoughts and tendencies are not considered normal in the mental health world, but there’s 7 billion people on this planet and over half will at some point feel the way you do now. I know your eyes are starting to roll into your head and that urge to tell yourself ‘yeah this guy […]
I’ve never really understood things the way others seem to and I often feel out of place. It seems just when I start feeling good about life and feel like there is something I can really get behind and feel proud about supporting, I get shot down by obstacles and people (sometimes those few who are close to me). I’ve always had a view of the world tinted by dreamer’s eyes, and so realism isn’t exactly always my forte. I can get passionate about anything, but I can also get down and out about anything. At the drop of a hat I can turn from […]