I sat at my desk in school wondering what it would be like if I stabbed myself through the heart with that guys extremely sharp pencil. Death by writing utensil. A thought that drew a smile on my face.
Ugh that stupid noise. A noise that interrupted the only thought that made me smile today.
I concentrate a bit harder, but it is only clear to me that the sound comes from the front of class. I look up.
“RRrrruhh. RRraaayy.”
My brain starts to work in time to hear the teacher call my name for, what I could tell by her tone was, the fifth time.
“Rain! Is […]
Tag:
Spare Time
Let me tell you bout my month yall
Endless shoppin’, I had a ball
I had to ball for therapy
My shrink don’t think that helps at all
Whatever, that man aint wearin’ these leather pants
I diagnosed my damn self, these damn pills aint workin’ fam
In my spare time, punchin’ walls fucking up my hand
I know that shit sound super cray
But if you had my life you’d understand
But, I cant fold
Some poor soul got it way worse
We’re all troubled in a world in trouble
It scary to […]
I feel sick all the time. From drinking problem to cocaine to meth back to full-blown alcoholism, then it was pills and painkillers and benzodiazepines and now I’ve finally graduated to heroin addict. As l look down at my hands, swollen and shaky and an odd color of purplish-grey…. I don’t know how I got here. I’m only 22 and I need 12-13 hours of sleep per day and so much therapy and alllll my spare time spent in waiting rooms for drs offices and hospitals…. I’m so so sick and I wonder if life would just be easier if I was gone. I no […]
I’m really really starting to loose all enthusiasm in my life. I have no social life anymore, work takes up all my time and I hate it, I feel so miserable there but getting another job is difficult because I have no transport. I have too much spare time and nothing to do with it, I have lost so many of my friends and the ones I have left don’t seem to really wanna hang out with me. I’m just getting frustrated beyond belief, not just life, but myself.
I just need some friends. Some people to hang out with. People to laugh and joke […]
Is what I tell my mom. ‘no, it’s okay, I’m just tired’ for my dad. ‘Could you leave, please? I’m thinking’ is snapped at my little sister. And then I’m alone.
School’s out. I’m a kid. I should be ecstatic, right? But I’m not. Lately, I’ve just been feeling so alone, so hopeless. I have small projects I’ve been working in in my spare time, but I’m starting to think ‘why bother, this is stupid’ and abandon them. Occasionally I’ll get my hopes up for something, but somehow when it comes I always seem to screw it up. Then it’s over, and I’m back in […]
Hi
This is my 3rd time posting on this website, i guess it’s because i have no one else. I am getting more and more depressed every day and don’t no what to do.I was thinking of taking an overdose when i looked up consequences of an overdose and it said brain damage and that put me off that idea.
I have being depressed for nearly two years now and i guess things are getting worse and worse lately. i think it was my friends that kept me on the right path, but now i’m no longer friends with them. i suppose i have […]
So this is my first post.. sorry if it’s not very clear or easy to understand. I’m just lost.
So i never thought i would be this way. I had a great childhood, and at 20 i still feel like a kid sometimes. Like a kid that was just testing out the water and all the sudden was pushed in. Except in this imaginary world, i don’t know how to swim. So here i am struggling to stay above water. Now i’m not sure if it’s worth the effort anymore.
To put it simply, i feel so empty inside. I’m sure part of the reason is because […]
After a few months I grew tired of feeling sorry for myself so I started developing a website to help myself keep busy in my spare time, but to also inform others of the dangers of spending money foolishly without thinking. Econochristian.com is my website. As you can see, I somehow discovered a path to religion when all of humanity seemed to have failed me. I guess this happens quite often, but it does help to rely on a religion with many followers to help you get back on your feet.