I’m not sure what I’m doing anymore. The fear of being alone seems to consume me. These girls who say they love me, they can’t be serious. How could they love me when they haven’t tried to know me. I’m not trying to lead them on. I’m just too nice to tell them what I really think. At least that’s what I’ve been telling myself. I’ve been thinking about death again. But is death what I want currently? I don’t have the desire to sleep except when I wake up in the morning because sleeping is much easier than going through the day. Sometimes being […]
Tag:
Spread Rumors
To think I almost committed suicide last Tuesday. My plan was to hang myself in the school bathroom. Well I attempted to. Left with marks on my neck. I realized what I had going for me. I have a life and an amazing boyfriend and a family who loves me truly. I couldn’t ask for anything better. The reason why I almost committed suicide was because I was being bullied at school by two of my classmates. They both spread rumors and make mean side comments to me. One treats me like I’m nothing to her. I have some friends here a PC. I have […]
I dont cry. I really dont. I didnt cry when my cousin spread rumors about me, when the girls would push me down stairs and the boys would slam me against lockers, when someone who i thought was a friend back stabbed me, when someone who used to be my friend literally spit in my face, when nobody cared. I only cry for 2 things: the death of a loved one and romantic/sad movies(yeah i know dumb reason to cry but hey im human). I used to cry myself to sleep every night when i was younger but i promised myself never again. I refused […]
a year and a half ago, i stood on the train tracks awaiting death. however, two women pulled me off. i was instantly hospitalized. i spent a month there, between inpatient and outpatient care. before then, i was in my first real relationship. we’d been together for over a year and he would constantly tell me how he plans on proposing to me. i get that i shouldn’t have believed it, that I’m too young for talk like that…but it all felt so real. a month before the incident, i approached my boyfriend, explaining to him how i wanted to end my life. at first, […]
I am loosing everyone. I lost my best friend since i can remember and now i lost my other best friend. She is pushing me away and i dont know why. i asked her but all she says that she doesnt mean to and that she is not mad and that nothing is wrong but i know something must be happening. Oh fu**ing god, and also my friend that is like my brother since i can remember says that i lied to him, spread rumors, hit him and insulted when i did none of that. sooo whatever i mean what can i do to change […]
The first time i was 8 years old and my dad had just left me and my mum after battling cancer. Mum wasn’t good, Dad was gone, Nanny and Granada were in Spain, my friends didn’t want to know. What stopped me? My mum caught me and took me to a therapist.
The Second time it was my 9th birthday. It was the last day i ever spook to my dad. He texted me to say that he was gonna have a son and that i was nothing to me. On my birthday. That time my now ex-best friend found me and begged me not to.
The […]