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Spring Break
Just one more day before I can stop worrying about school for a full week. I’m going to go visit some family, which is weird considering the fact that my relationships with them are….strained (for lack of a better word) at the best, and potentially homicidal at the worst. You may think I’m exaggerating, but my brother has attempted to kill me on several occasions. Pretty much the only reason I’m going is to visit my youngest sister, the only family member I have that I really consider family. Seeing everyone else is going to suck, though. I’m just trading the stress of school for […]
My dad hung himself on March 18th, 2013. Actually it could have been the 19th no one is exactly sure. It was my spring break and I was at the beach with a few of my friends and my girlfriend. I didn’t find out til that Thursday which I think was the 21st. My phone had been dead for a day or two and I didn’t bother to charge it, I guess I didn’t think anything important was going to happen. I finally charged and turned off my phone and saw that I had received a text from my rabbi and a woman in my […]
And I have come to the conclusion I cannot continue or bear my university classes anymore. I am done with everything. I am done with my fucking life. I have purposely sabotaged everything I have been working for so I could find myself closer to committing because I don’t want to live. My entire life has been the most mundane and horrible life imaginable, everyday is like groundhogs day basically.
I promised myself sometime last week that I will kill myself sometime in June or May, but I may decide to live longer if Britney Spears announces some news about her 8th album and/or releases her lead single off […]
I don’t know if I mentioned it, but I had a dream about Trevor. It was wonderful. It seemed real. I could smell his cologne, hear his voice. Anyway, it was beautiful. I’m leaving my trumpet in the band room again so I can see him again. Maybe I can eventually get his number… 😀 God, I hope so. I used to be too scared to talk to him, but not anymore. I love talking to him. He’s awesome. Seriously. Anyways, I just hope that I can at least become good friends with him. That would be great. Then maybe I can start to build […]
Hi my name Is Emily and I’m 15 years old. I was diagnosed with depression about 7 months ago. My life hasn’t been the same since. I was dealing with my sexuality, paranoia, anxiety, OCD, school,anger problems and cutting. This all led to my horrible depression. I was hospitalized around Christmas time because of a strangling attempt. I spent Christmas and New Years Eve in the hospital where I stayed for 18 days. Afterwards I started going to an outpatient day program for kids and teenagers with emotional problem called the CDU which stood for Children’s Day Unit. There i met many good friends especially one. Her […]
Escaping from this hell hole was the first good thing I’ve done on my own. Going off to college and not having to deal with all this family drama and emotional drain was so good for me. I was finally happy. I was finally care free. I didn’t have to fake being happy anymore. I was happy with who I was, where I came from, and how I was living. I finally got to be free from her stupid rules and her stupid views on life. I was finally free. And I thought that I could go live the rest of my life with barely […]