I hate how after all this time, i still can’t find the courage to
try it with someone else. Because of you, i find it hard to trust
everyone around me as i think that they will just leave me like you
did.You broke all your promises and i’m scared that everyone else
will too. I’ve learnt to play on the safe side so i don’t get hurt.
Im scared of getting hurt again, of just being left broken again.
i just don’t know how to let anyone else in, I’ve tried my hardest
to just forget everything, all our memories, but […]
Hey,
So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.
I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. […]
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
And God saw the light and told us it was good;
And most of us believed Him.
But some of us did not; some of us could not dance and frolic and sacrifice our sons in His name,
Because it didn’t make any sense.
So God told his followers that we are evil;
And there was hatred in the world.
And those of us who dwelt in darkness were cast out, mocked, tormented and beaten. And God made large stone & steel buildings where we were to be taken and fed drugs to make us stop being […]
what bothers me is that there are so many people in the world. so many people are depressed. so many people cut. so many people have lost someone they love. so many people have attempted suicide. so many people have gone through with it. so what makes me any different? Â if I killed myself tonight, why would it matter? I’m one of many so it wouldn’t cause any damage. the world wouldn’t stop so why dont I just do it? how much damage will really be done? not much. the thing is, I’m scared of what will happen if I don’t go through with it. […]
“Imagine a happy group of morons who are engaged in work. 
They are carrying bricks in an open field. 
As soon as they have stacked all the bricks at one end of the field,
they proceed to transport them to the opposite end. 
This continues without stop and every day of every year
they are busy doing the same thing.
One day one of the morons stops long enough
to ask himself what he is doing. 
He wonders what purpose there is in carrying the bricks. 
And from that instant on he is not quite as content 
with his occupation as he had been before. 
I am the moron […]
So I disappointed my folks again
I can’t seem to do anything right
i feel like nothing ever goes right for me
why does the nice guy have to finish last
maybe u should stop trying and end it all
I’m such a failure
i’ve given up.
i just don’t try anymore in life.
don’t try in friendships.
don’t try in my relationship with my parents.
don’t try in school.
don’t try to succeed.
don’t try in life.
it just isn’t even worth it. can someone help me? i just don’t know what’s worth trying for anymore.
i need some encouragement to keep moving or i might just stop…
After playing video games for a while I decided to take a nap and I had a nightmare about my time in the hospital and I ended up waking everyone up with my screaming (I occasionally talk in my sleep) and my mother keeps bringing it up… I told myself that I would stop cutting but again I failed :p I suck but whatever. Hey at least I admit it! 🙂 Anyway I’ve decided to kill myself but I keep pushing it back. I don’t know when but I don’t want it to be spontaneous because then i’ll make a mistake and have […]
I’m kind of partial to old movies, especially Film Noir and B-horror/Sci Fi from the 40’s and 50’s. On the 9th of December Kirk Douglas will turn 98 fucking years old (if he lives that long). I hear he’s a damned lecher and a womanizer – in fact as I recall just a year or so ago he was accused of sexual assault. You would think someone with as much money, fame and fortune as he has could at least keep his shit behind closed doors – I mean (and not to be crude or crass) he could buy any elite hooker on the planet […]
It was exhilarating. It hurt alot, but it also somehow felt really good. My heart started racing, my anxiety suddenly kicked in, what a strange yet incredible feeling! How was I so blind? I always thought people who cut themselves were insane, but this is awesome! I can’t stop now! G’day to you, my friends. Imma keep at it! So wish me luck!
The day we have to be parted
When I don’t have you next to me
The distant between us makes me feel weary and loneliness begins to creep into my heart
But everytime when I hear that song… the song we used to listen together, my heart gets dirtied away
Â
As if I could feel your tender warmth when you were near
Do you know there is this one song… whenever I hear it, I would only think of you
And I don’t know how long it would be till we […]
At any moment I could go
At any moment I could leave
At any moment I could die
At any moment I could stop
At any moment I could submit
I could let go
I could not care
I could break more
I could stop loving
I could hate you
But I cannot let go
But I cannot not care
But I cannot break more
But I cannot stop loving
But I cannot hate you
Why? I can’t let go of you.
Why? I can’t not care about you.
Why? I can’t break anymore because I’m already broken so much.
Why? I can’t stop loving you no matter […]
…You know what, despite everything I’ve done to myself, I’m done with myself, because I hate myself. I’m only living now for others, I’m living because they want e to, I’ve been feeling like this for quite some times now after it went away it seems to come back again and I’ve not been able to tell anybody about it. to get by, every day seems like four days and every night seems like I’m fading into a black hole to despair and doom again, I’m not ready to surrender to people for being myself, but I am willing to surrender myself up for […]
I’ve bin confused lately all i can think about is whether i should kill myself or not i’ve bin so depressed idk why though i feel like im nothing all i feel is pain i can’t stop watching suicidal videos cannot stop thinking about it before i even go to bed i’ve tried i have sharp nails so i scratch myself with them it’s the easiest way to help me instead of cutting myself with a knife. Please i know it sounds stupid coming from me … but if your thinking of suicide please i beg you don’t you have meaning and life in this […]
We, people who lack strength, keep doing the same things repeatedly. We’ve forgotten the feeling of being alive. We can’t tell if we are living or dead. Do you feel that you are “alive†now? At this stage, only a thin line separates living and dead.Therefore the sayings, “life is valuable, you should not commit suicideâ€, “if you stay alive, everything will have a turning pointâ€, “your friends and relatives will feel sad for your death, so you have to stay alive†can all be put aside; these are not convincing anymore. The convincing words which can stop one from committing suicide vanish; the signal […]
maybe I can’t, maybe I don’t want to, but the cutting isn’t going to stop this time. not after today
Hey.
I’m 23, trans, and recently diagnosed with thoracic and a rare cervical scoliosis. It’s not so extreme that it’s noticeable with clothes on but, in a way, that makes it worse. Without clothes it’s fairly easy to spot if you know what you’re looking for. I’ve known about the asymmetries for years, but I didn’t realise they were part of a  bigger problem, just “bad posture”. My parents never noticed it because I hid it (secretly I was ashamed of it). Everytime I brought it up with my parents they’d tell me “stop slouching over the computer” or “stop carrying heavy bags”–implying that I was […]
i cant do this anymore. i cant keep holding back all these tears. i cant do it anymore. but idk why im even still even here still.
please let it stop.
My ex blocked me on fb again. This is the fourth or so time. This time I didn’t say anything. I really didn’t. Its all because I typed “k” instead of “ok”. He didn’t give me time to explain that I had to type one handed, with my non dominant hand, or that the reason was that I was trying to stop the bleeding because I fell off the wagon yet again.
I can’t move on.
I can’t let go.
I can’t stop it.
I can’t stop me.
I can’t go on.
I can’t stop hurting.
I can’t stop pain.
I can’t stop breaking.
I can’t stop crying.
I can’t stop hoping.