My telling you on the nightline service “I am not that strong of a person†translates to “I am going to kill myself, but I don’t want you to lock me up so I won’t say it out loud and commit myself.â€Â I don’t know how or when. As soon as possible. As soon as I can find the right way. Pills won’t do it…I’ve even heard cyanide won’t do it unless you are a chemist and know how to brew it just right. I envy that old couple that took their life together sipping cyanide from their teacups. Jumping in front of a train […]
Tag:
Stupid Mistake
So I had standardized testing on computers today, and my teacher gave an instruction he was unclear about, and I did the wrong thing, and he fucking screamed at me right in front of everyone. I made it to my quiet corner of the band room before I started crying (it was lunch after the tests). So I spent half an hour sitting behind the brass kettle drums, trying not to cry and slicing at my wrist with scissors, because I didn’t want to bleed everywhere.
When people yell at me, especially with an audience, it reminds me of my dad, who has abused my mom […]
In short, my brother killed himself april of 2011. He was my only brother and he will always be my closest and best friend, a hero of sorts for a little brother if you understand the relationships between siblings. anyway, he was 29 married no children and i was 21. few months after he passed away i was going to shoot myself in the heart with a 12-guage slug to ensure death and hopefully immidietly death would follow. to this day i don’t know what changed my mind, not fear of death but i guess fear for my family’s wellbeing.. but anyway.. i think about him everyday. shortly after his death i became deeply addicted […]
hey everyone, i recently got back together with my old boyfriend, i never really got over him… watching what he does in class, caring when he gets a new girlfriend i really liked him but i made a stupid mistake and i ended the relationship… but now we are back together and i feel happy again, but all some of my friends are acting really disaproving of me with him (he sort of does a bunch of illegal stuff) but i love him so fuck them