Survival Mode

For the past few months I have read the posts and posted myself on this site.  Every day is the same for me.  I think suicidally but then I’ve made it 40 years and have family thats suffering around me and I want to help but the suicidal thoughts persist.  But than after a few months I get lucky and score myself a 20 bag of weed.  I smoke a little and suddenly everything changes.  I feel even deeper sadness for those that I love that are suffering but I feel like I can deal with the loneliness of not ever really having a partner, […]