Words do not express, for my emotions run wild
I feel confusion and hate, but mostly just denial.
I need help.
I’ve slipped into this pit more than once in my life
but for the first time I don’t have the strength to make it alright.
I have done this to myself, this disease is now me
I am not a thinker, a lover or you’re friend.
I am my addiction which has no end.
I am it, and it is me. One cannot set the other free.
I lay in this bed in a room filled with sadness
and think back on my life […]
Tag:
Taunts
There is someone who bullies me. Someone who teases and taunts and tortures me. That bully is me.
No matter what I do, I notice a flaw in me. I’m stupid, ugly, fat, and friendless. No one listens to me. I doubt my parents even care about me. Whenever I try talking to them, they don’t even bother to understand my problems. I can’t talk to my brother. He has autism and wouldn’t understand anything. My ‘friends’ are fake, as fake as a Barbie doll. No matter how hard I try in school, there are always people who do better than me. I hate comparing myself […]
I hate when people ask me if I’m okay, or how I’m feeling. The answer is so loaded and I’ve never been a good liar. So, I nod and say, “Fine,” because it’s such a basic answer that it has no meaning, anymore.
I hate waking up every morning to rush to a job I hate. And people say, “Well, just quit,” as though I don’t have loans and hospital bills waiting for me and whispering taunts when I try to sleep at night.
They say, “It get better,” but does it? I’m almost 30 and I’ve been dealing with this outcast, abnormal bullshit since I was […]
“I’d wish to never rememberâ€
“It just hurts every time I doâ€
“Every one had moved on…
                                 Why can’t I…?â€
Afraid to be loved
cuz I know that love isn’t for me
Afraid to be loved
cuz all I do is hurt
Being rushed
cuz I know they’ll leave just like that
All the memories of the good
Taunts me every day
Two to three years wasn’t anything
AÂ long distance
Terrified
I sinned
My guilt
My regret
I wasn’t patient enough
Forgive and forget
Easier said then done
I broke his heart
It was my mistake
I wanted him the most
I wanted Angel to come and rescue me
But no he didn’t
He couldn’t
He wanted to be with his friends more
Than to be with me
I came back […]
My hands ache and my lids feel heavy
My face feels tired
And I haven’t even started my day
I’m not ready
Lately I’ve felt like crying
Now tears do not flow
It must be this heat
Beaming in from my window
A high velocity fan blows the hot air into the hall
The air conditioner needs maintenance
And I’m waiting for the temperature to fall
I don’t mind the spring and her allergies
The summer and her scraped knees
The Fall and a beckoning bite
And the winter the freezes hard during the night
But I’m a wolf who doesn’t mind an icy muzzle
To run free and […]