A few minutes ago I read about a girl that was able to purchase a shotgun and use it the same day. If I didn’t have a record of an attempted suicide, I would have the patience to go through the process of all the paper work and time to be able to buy a shotgun.
I have a plan but now I am ironing out the details of who will find me. I really feel bad for whoever it would be. But i’ve decided it shouldn’t be my family. Â So it will have to be a hotel. Yet I am afraid of my suicide being […]
Smile. Walking to the next stage, to the alas.
The lone stranger yet to be deciphered.
What shall be these freed chain. Today. Where it’s only ever been me.
Now. Held, there is only one sword. Me … and God.
Today, the sun never arrived. Because today, there is only me.
And the chain of the world around my neck.
Now, only playing to the sound of music.
The sun was yet to be arrived. Left overs, abyssal stick to my shirt.
I shall remain, since my beginning. Walking to my tomb.
But today, is today. Vowed to celestial.
The misconception and fallacy mirror projected upon […]
When I started my first post.. I thought it might get easier talking. It just gets harder. My parents absolutely hate me. You may think I exaggerate this but they do. I can never do anything right, my life is just one big fuck up. I don’t deserve to put them through this pain and stress. I don’t deserve anything. I’m a spoiled brat. I have nothing going for me. I just want it to be over, I just want to have a gun in my hand to end all this misery. I wish I had some way just to kill myself. The more I […]
Look! See the loverless boy. He watches the planes take off. Only in the dawn when the sun is low. Only in the night when the moon is bright. Oh loverless boy! Your eyes will see the world from space. You will sings the songs of a different race. Loverless boy why do you worry? This place is only temporary. You wanna love a another one but that one there is only human. You wanna hold her soul inside, you want your bodies to collide. Loverless boy remember your duty. Your mission is a bigger story. Go now back to see the planes. They’ll keep […]
My favorite thing in the world is being there for someone like us. I am 17, a junior in HS, and I have 7 MS girls who are just like me. Cutters, suicidals. I can only help so much. Today, to get one to stop, I put my blade to my arm, on a line I have thinned out from my elbow to wrist, just in case I ever need to do it. It’s a pain to watch them worry, but a relief to watch them stop. I’ve gone back to cutting, though. What gives me the right to stop others when I can’t stop […]
Where to begin, i know you read tons of those stories and thinking everyone you read is the same but it isn’t, story is what happen to me. when i was 7 everyone made fun of how i talk and looked.i was feeling lost in the world. I was bullied everyday and i got pushed off a play structure and i black out. I have blackouts tons of times, i never tell anybody because all my life my siblings always had me to tell my parents i did what ever was broking or missing so i got tired of trying to tell the […]
Wonderful?
I have heard a lot of complaining lately about the people on this site. I think, however, that you are all wonderful… Yes, even the people who have vented their frustrations about SP (I am sorry it isn’t as helpful to you as it once was). This world has dealt you some heavy blows, and for that I am sorry. I know that you are here to vent, or to seek support, or to share, or to help, or whatever the case may be. You’re reason for being here doesn’t matter to me, nor does the way you choose to express yourself. I value […]
Next month it will be a year that she left my side. She didn’t give me life, but filled me with life. If Nate would have just let me be i would be with her.
Loss is such a painful part of life. I still don’t understand why the people i need in my life are taken from me in such horrid ways. My daughter would be getting her license this year. I can’t believe i only had eight days with her, but i wouldn’t change those days for anything in the world.
I suppose i am lucky that i have turned all my pain into a […]
I never thought I would end up on someplace like this. I never wanted to die before. But my life changed, and I did nothing to deserve any of it. I spend my while day asking, “Why me? What did I do?” My brother killed himself in front of me. And I loved him. He was my world I always looked up to him, but after a night of partying I guess he decided he couldn’t take it. And just like that, he was gone. I don’t want to live without him.
That was a year ago.
I thought I would get happy but I’m not. What’s […]
What’s the best thing in the world?
June-rose, by May-dew impearled;
Sweet south-wind, that means no rain;
Truth, not cruel to a friend;
Pleasure, not in haste to end;
Beauty, not self-decked and curled
Till its pride is over-plain;
Love, when, so, you’re loved again.
What’s the best thing in the world?
–Something out of it, I think.
So, if you read my previous post, “A New Low”, you’ll understand the title and the following post.
So, I wasn’t fired from my job. Instead, they have decided to make my life so unbearably miserable that I want to quit. Today, literally, no one spoke to me. I would initiate conversation or ask a question and no one would respond. Unless I died and I just haven’t realized it, I would think that the least people could do is answer questions so that I could go about doing my miserable job. If i’m wrong, by all means, please point it out. I’m not being provided […]
I guess, since this is my first post on here, I should tell you all my story.
at age 9 I was oblivious. I was overweight, friendless, but still happy.
at age 10 I started to worry. I was fat as hell, still friendless, but just slightly less than happy.
at age 11 I knew I was a goner. still fat and friendless and I didn’t know what to do about it. I wasn’t happy anymore.
at age 12 I had my first ED thought. I had one friend, and she was my goal. 80 pounds and beautiful. I thought that maybe, just maybe, by losing weight my everlasting […]
To be honest, I just really want out of this life. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take the worrying about my future. I can’t stand the fact that I’m completely ugly. I can’t stand the fact that I can never chose the right religion. I can’t stand the fact that I’m so open about how I feel with everyone in the world. I’m just so fucked up in the mind, and there’s so much that races through my head. There are just so many thoughts, and they’re crazy and weird. I’m crazy and weird. I’m stupid. I’m always fucking something up. People try […]
label me hopeless, label me a coward, label me with whatever name you want to. I’m coming to the conclusion that my life is nothing but a reflection of  the dog shit on the corner of the street. you see.. the more i live the more i begin to realize this and the options i have in order for me to be happy are becoming slimmer and slimmer. Im on the cusp of being homeless and my mom wont help me out. I dont know what i did to make her so angry so fed up, honestly im fed up with myself. alot of things […]
I feel like, i’m the only one that feels like he’s being tested.
I feel like, this world is so absurdly fucked up, how could this be the real thing?
How can we expect to ever live in TRUE peace and harmony, if this world is a result of humans putting their heads together?
How can this world/life/dimension or whatever, be possibly real?
I’m no religious fella, or floaty supernatural type, Â but if this is it then i really, really hope there’s life after death.
Because how can a person that has “woken up” freely waddle carelessly through all these working slaves we see as people?
I’m not sure if i’m […]
I had managed to carve out a nice life. I was happy, we were happy. Sitting on the couch smoking a bowl, laughing at silly things on T.V.
I lost him, my best friend, my brother, my partner in crime, my husband boo. It seemed like we beat the odds, you know? Finding each other. The job I had was great. We took long weekend trips to random places just because it sounded fun.
Being anywhere with him was fun.
The thought of you hurts because you are not here, nor would I want you to be… what I am now is not what I was.
Life moves along […]
Has anyone else felt alone their whole life? Always the odd one out, outcasted by strangers, friends, and family alike. I’ve grown to realize that I’m not like the others. I’m quiet; I observe everyone around me. And I don’t like what I see. Everyone is so superficial. I see people for what they really are – their flaws, ulterior motives and blind prejudices. I know I have flaws myself but they don’t even compare to what I see in others. Perhaps I am a pessimist; though I like to think I’m a realist.
Every year that goes by, the more I dislike everyone I […]
Like a creature, my nails suddenly grown long.
Parasecting the crystal, the nug. Digging the inner.
I guess Parasect is my second pokemon, then.
I saw it in the manga, and it’s wizard mushroom cap.
How about that… The alchemist pokemon.
My dream, is to catch ….. Now, to take over the world.
Spiraling down. Down to the muk card. What of essence.
Oh, the humanity. What of, is this mankind. Who would of let, to become.
Ash would say, and the other heroes.
Tauros, of the silver bone. Evolved in dire sake, a bullet in it’s body.
The day; the stories. The fights. All there […]
I am I the only who is scared that the world might end soon?
All of the signs are literally happening and I think everyone is scared to accept it, including me.
I need to know that I am not the only one seeing this happen right before my eyes…
Everyday is just so gloomy…i think for everybody. I feel like this zombie mode that everyone is in is just “the calming before the storm”
Everything is falling apart.
I thought that things would change- this was supposed to be the best time of my life. This was supposed to be the time that, years from now, I look to and remember memories of joy, and happiness.
But it’s really not turning out like that.
To achieve this one goal of my life, I let go of many other things. I thought that, after getting to this goal, everything would fall into place. But in fact, the situation just got worse. After what seemed like the happiest day in a long time, every. single. thing. went downhill.
I used to maintain a sense of […]
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