sometimes I find myself telling me this. Another one is “Everything’s my fault” but not really everything… just the things that matter. I’m not anyone important. I just… exist for no reason. I’m gay, my mom died because of me, and I have no reason to live…
so why do I? I’m not really sure why I don’t kill myself. Is there even a reason? I don’t know if I fear death, or I’m just afraid of what would happen if I don’t die… In my dreams, small razors keep showing up. the kind you find in handheld sharpeners. I’m always given a box by […]
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Things That Matter
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.
A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf […]
I dont want attention. I dont want anyones pity. I dont want people to tell me how I was wronged in this big bad world. I dont want people touching me, hugging me..
I dont want to acknowledge how hard I have been hitting rock bottom for months. Not months, years. Ive been hitting it over and over again, and I think I finally managed to break the ground and go beneath it.
What I really want is for someone to hold me. Not just a hug. I want to be hold all night to wake up in those same arms the next morning. I want […]