I have reached the a point in my life where certain patterns have repeated themselves. These patterns once thought under control have so gone out of control that the pattern is now a real relative in my life. This pattern at first was just bad emotional output on my part, then the second time occurred and its all the same all over again the exact same way it ended the last time. The last time I lost two very dear things close to me and now I have no chance of ever seeing them again due to my own stupid decision. This time the thing […]
Tag:
Tide
I want to die. I want to live, but I can’t, because I desire to die even more. I have nothing to live for. The only person who ever saw good in me said that he never meant a word. He never cared about me. I am nothing, and I have nothing. I just can’t take anymore pain. I cry all day, and there’s no relief. I’m tortured in my mind and exhausted in my body. My heart aches with broken promises, everlasting disappointments, and lies told in malice. I can’t tell a soul, because nobody understands a stupid, little depressed girl. Nobody cares. If […]
I just re-watched Tom Hank’s Cast Away for the first time in years. I never paid attention to these lines but now it makes a lot of sense. Maybe it can also turn your day around. Here goes:
“Â I added it up, and knew that I had… lost her. ‘cos I was never gonna get off that island. I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So… I made a rope and I went up to the […]
flashing back into reality
stomped out by the gravity
every situation ways
more or less its all the same
days go by, time flys by
its a repeated cycle
cant never break the cycle
same shit different day
thats the way it always plays
whats one place from another
wheres the love my hateful brother?
i thought i could be made
if only i played the game
i played it to the end
where i learned you never can win
play to be played and stay to be stayed
who stills the hand and bares the water?
where the love in ever after?
what must be done to change the tide?
to turn back the clock and take the time
no one knows but everyone […]
Come on baby do you think it’s good to feel
Like I’m lying here swimming in memories
I fear God because everything dies babe
Got a gun in the back of my Car
A spasm of good sense is making my eye twitch
I’ve had enough on your consolation.
I’m drowning caught in a shit tide
Tape my face to the inside of love
Nothing to eat but fingers in the back seat
Well i’ve met God and he had nothing to say to me
I pray to god that you’re right before my eyes,
Bathed in white light with halos in your eyes.
Don’t wanna waste no […]
I watched the movie “Castaway” again today. “I am so sad…but I know what I have to do now.”
by isaac
written by isaac
I had forgotten how much that film resonated with me when it first came out; how I cried and cried because of the loss, the tragedy, the helplessness, the irresolute – albeit hopeful – ending. Â The words still resonate with me today, now, even while contemplating my own will to exist:
“…We both had done the math.
Kelly added it all up…and knew she had to let me go.
I added it up, and knew that I’d…I’d lost her…’cause I was never going to get off that island. I was going to die there…totally alone…I mean, I was going to get sick, or get injured or something…
The […]
A dreamer  is the the worst, a waste, a parasite. I will romanticise my life no more. I have alienated myself. I cant relate. I rejected the only one who has ever loved me several years ago, she is now married and has forgotten me. I have found out that love happens once. I will die alone. I have failed at everything. People disappoint me. I disappoint myself. I wish the tide would take me. I am only happy when I am asleep. If anyone knew how I felt, they would treat me the same, with more indifference . Their lies are better than mine, more grounded. […]
The consequences of today are determined by our thoughts & actions of the past. To change your future, alter your thoughts & actions today. There is never a better time then the present.
1.“Action is the foundational key to all success.†– Pablo Picasso
2.“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.†– Jim Rohn
ie by changing nothing, nothing changes. You can’t expect to be doing the same thing, thinking the same thing and then expecting a differet outcome. ie a positive 2012. We are but the product of our habits & thoughts ~ if they are poor then so […]