right now the urge to ace myself is strong. i don’t really know why. these urges come and go. for the most part i just ride them out. not now i say. time isn’t right. like there is a “right” time to die. there are things that need to be taken care of. loose ends tied up. careful consideration is called for. i have selected a few days next month. chances are those days will mean nothing. i am stubborn till the end. MY time schedule. not depression’s. so i am supposed to try being sober for x amount of days. to try to get […]
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Time Schedule
love the song. should change my username. had a 3 tissue session with wendy today. discussed what i meant when saying i felt like i was blocked. that my short bursts of intense emotions are maybe cracks in the “wall”. and that is why they come and go so easily. and what is on the other side of that wall? i don’t know. and the thought of finding out is terrifying. wendy says to embrace those emotions and try to see what is causing them. but the “blocking” comes so easily i don’t know how to stop it. i am scared of losing control. i […]