I used to ask the god I believe in to put all of my families burdens on myself instead of them. For them to be able to live peaceful happy lives at the cost of my own life. I would never take that back, and I still would say the same today. I can’t complain that my own life is not easy. Maybe it’s really just all of this coming to fruition. My family is happier and more peaceful than I have ever seen them and in this time of happiness I am completely seperate from them all. Miles and miles seperate us locking me […]
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today
I snapped at my step mom today and I feel like a total ass. It was for something so minor I don’t even know why I did it.
I just feel so guilty all the time for everything. I feel guilty for taking up space for living.
I just don’t deserve it. I’m such a horrible fucked up person. My “friends” who were once my biggest supporters turned against me and started saying these horrible things about me. I believe them. I hate myself so its easier to believe the bad over the good. I can’t take compliments.
I’m sorry this is so long. I hope you’re having […]
Hoy me vuelvo a sentir como una foto en la pared y no respiro para no hacer ruido.
(I feel again today like a picture on a wall and i don’t breathe so i don’t make any noise.)
I just recently was discharged from a psych ward. This was my second hospitalization. I’m still suicidal and have been for a long time. My parents told me today that I need to “try harder to be happy.” I’m just sick of hearing shit like this.
I just feel like dying, how am I supposed to stop all of a sudden. I just don’t understand their logic. I’ve been struggling with depression and self harm for about 8 years now (since I was 10 years old). And haven’t felt happy to be alive in about 2 years. My suicidal thoughts / planning have increased and became […]
Every time I look in the mirror another piece of me is gone.
Today it was my left ear.
But that’s okay, it had started to fade yesterday afternoon.
The more of me that fades away, the more my soul is becoming visible.
Like a little egg of pure white light, it’s hatching.
What colour is your soul?
She talked to me for the first time in a month today. Just to tell me she has no feelings for me. After five years. We were raising a family together. Thats what I get, I was an asshole. I cant be mad at her. But damn the truth hurts. Wasn’t this supposed to get easier? I just want to give up so bad. Fuck me.
If not today, the last day something ‘made your day’?
What was it?
(a positive post from me, for once…)
I had my day made today, just now, and it wasn’t even ‘today’ because today’s already over, whatever…but…it was finding a ‘pink lemonade’ flavoured jolly-rancher-lollipop in the cheap bag of valentines candy I got for half off a couple days ago…fuckin best flavor ever!
I will legit mail these fuckin things out if they’d make anyone else’s day, so you’d better say if you want one! lol
Sometimes music is the only thing that calms me down. I played and recorded every sound on this track except the drums…I know there is a lot to do on it, but it feels good to actually be creative. I miss that. I don’t usually play a whole lot with distortion, but today, it felt right.
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/Distortion.m4a
It’s days like today when I hate you the most for leaving us all alone…it’s days like today when I hate myself for hating you and everything you’ve done. I can’t change the past, I can’t bring you back, and I have no way to get to you because death is just too far away. She brings your light back into the world but it’s days like today when she’s a screaming crying hurricane that I wish you were here so you could quiet the storm, just hold her one time but you can’t even do that. It’s days like today when I hate you […]
I watched a video of a man killing himself today.
He was some American politician that was accused of something and the day before his trial he called a press conference and shot himself on live TV.
I should have looked away and turned it off, but I watched it over and over again.
I should have been horrified by the violence but I was amazed by how quickly it was over for him.
This can’t be a good sign.
Do you ever just wake up and think “Why bother? Why get out of bed today?” That’s the point I’ve been at for awhile
i swallowed twnty something benadryls and c lonazepams i was very dissapointed i woke up… any ideas dont own a gun so im not going there. I slit my wrists today but that just numbed me a little bit. also walked into on going traffic … jumped off a second floor building didnt work. can someone help me die?
I don’t want to be dead. I don’t want to live. Limbo is the only answer. Sorry no cheer here- but I do mean the things I posted to threads today. But still- blah.
Made a grown man cry today. Told my father I just want to pass away, that I dont want to live another day. that death would kill my pain. So turn you eyes away, you dont want to see this. Avert your eyes and pray, and then he screamed
Dont go, I need you here with me. Dont go, I need you here.
Saved a young mans life today. I caught him as he jumped to his fate. I told him son I know your pain but doing this will just pawn it away. I wont turn away I cant let you do this. I wont walk […]
Suicide has been on my mind all day. I can’t focus on anything else. I am a real mess today. I want to just go to sleep and not wake up but I know it’s not that simple.
It’s days like today when I’m in so much pain that I can’t even go to work that I am the most miserable. I hurt so bad I can barely move and so all I can do is sit here and think. Thinking is dangerous.
In my algebra class a couple of boys and girls that you’d typically catagorize as ‘popular’ decided to bully me today. I’m not weak, and I wouldn’t ever let up that I was. I can take some taunting and not act out in any way because I feel like i’m mature enough not to. Well, one of the girls in that circle decided to attack a sensitive area of mine, the history of my family. Calling my mom a whore and making fun of our financial problems. I wont get into exact details of what she said, but let’s just say I ended up in […]
Hello all! I feel a dire need to express feelings normally hidden by my outwardly cheerful facade; I’m your average 90s kid, born ’87, and I’ve had my share of depression, tried to kill myself twice, both times I’m happy to say were unsuccessful (poison both times). But over time I matured learned to find ways to enjoy life, and save my death for a worthy cause. I think my decision to savor life has made someone very unhappy, I’ve felt there’s been people out to get me for a long time, although that wasn’t the cause of my depression it certainly weighed on me. […]
So, mood drop. Woo….
My nephew punched my little brother -like they always play around, and my brother punched back – again, as they always play.
But this time my nephew was being whiny because his mom is here. And she’s starting shit, woo!
I’m so close, to fucking stabbing her. I’m sick of this shit, so fucking sick… She calls us bad people?
She was outside yelling at my brother about how we ALWAYS abuse her children, and her daughter was sitting at the table with my dad and I LAUGHING HER ASS OFF
“I think she’s got it backwards,” her daughter told us. “She’s the one who beats […]
I’m not a serious person at all. The only time I am serious is in writing. I don’t understand how everyone can live knowing all their happiness is a delusion. It’s impossible for me. Funny how everyone tries to be something, something they think important, when it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you die today or in forty years, because some day everything will parish and it will be as if the human race, and everything else, never had even existed.