as theist believe- rebirth
if you reborn again- keep suicide until you born again as rich, beautiful, intelligent human
It is like restarting a video game when you know you going to loose- It is logical to restart the game instead of wasting another couple of hours to loose
That’s the reason I say human race heading towards stupidity. They live life without asking why, simply following ancestors ideology.
This pain is unnatural, a form of devious evil. It laughs with its twisted and corrupted face. Tears are trying to draw the pain away, create a smile – which fails.
Will I die soon, is it coming closer, will my heart give in to the pressure. Physical pain; please leave – set me free.
Remove my wings but let my worn out body breathe and ascend again.
Let my demise be painless, until you plunge me down.
Into the abyss.
Several years ago, I made a pact with myself that I would hold on for the sake of people who had cared enough to get me out of a bad situation. I told myself to focus on school, and that by the time I graduated, I may have started wanting to live again. The issue is, I’m looking at finishing soon, and I was with these people today. I know no matter what happens I will never completely regain my what’s left of my mind, and I tried to prevent hurting the few people I care about, but I just got the feeling, not for […]
all of my life i have felt really dumb and i didnt know what to do.it got worst in fifth grade people bullied me and made fun of me i really didnt understand why… until one day i couldnt take it anymore thats when self harming came in…. for three full years i have self harmed and it is very hard to stop. i finally 3 months ago.i never have ben this happy.all of my life…… i was a depressed little girl until 3 months ago.im set free. finally i know why i was depressed because of my past and what i have seen.from a […]
Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, gets to me more than people who don’t understand anxiety and depression, so they treat you like you’re a whiny ***** for everything. If you don’t understand it that’s fine, not everyone does. But don’t go and treat me like a fucking ***** who whines about “stupid shit.” Until you know what it feels like to have parents hate you, “friends” who only stay around because they hope you’ll eventually sleep with them then treat you like you’re less than human because you don’t, been raped, been abused, held a knife to your throat ready to pull it… bottle of pills in […]
I’ve come to accept all this. It’s going to kill me, but I’ve accepted it. It’s just always going to be a part of my life. No running from it. Can’t get rid of it. Just have to deal with it until it’s over.
I always end up in a depressed state, eating disorder state, anxiety state and so on. Every time I’m in these states, I always end up convincing myself that I’m okay and by acting so fake and by acting like I’m okay, I begin to believe I am, even though I’m still sick.  And when I realize that I’m not okay, I end up back in these states. The truth is, although depression, self harm, bulimia and so on are killing me inside and hurting me, I actually love being depressed, self harming and having an eating disorder, but I end up loving these sicknesses until they […]
I have been in such a deep depression for the past two years that i have relapsed on cutting and it got to the point where every other day i was thinking of different ways to kill myself. Finally one night it got so bad that i knew i would do something drastic if i didnt get help so i texted my friend that i live with. She was in the kitchen partying with her friends and i tried for an hour and a half to get her to come help because i couldn’t get the courage up to go out there. She wasn’t answering […]
there was this huge fight over facebook about 7 months ago between a lot of people and me, and i was getting told to go kill myself and today i just went back and looked at the fight and started crying. I hate how people can be so mean to me. its like, what have i ever done to you?
anyway, im not really posting because my laptop crapped out and its not working so im using my dads until i get a new one.
i might not go back on this site anymore because i dont really now what to do with it. I’ll end up […]
I lay awake at night until the fatigue hits. My doctor has taken me off my sleeping medication. I beg my mom to let me take the pills that are left and she refuses. I think about awful thoughts when I lay awake. I think it will be better in the morning, but I know that’s false hope
I want to die, tonight. But, I’m afraid that someone close would find me. I want to raid my family’s medicine cabinet and drift away in my sleep. But, I’m afraid of the person that would try to wake me up. The sad part is, that no one fully gets that something is wrong with me until it’s something turns into a disaster. But, they will be afraid that it was already too late.
Don’t know what “set me off” but now I really don’t want to wake up tomorrow. Maybe God will answer me this time.
Until then I’m going to blast the fuck out of some angry music and hope night time rolls around quickly so everyone goes away and I can have my blade. Dammit what’s wrong with me
how does he not understand why i don’t have the will to live anymore?! actually no, he doesn’t care. its because of people like him that take and and take and take, and are actually loved, but their main goal is to act like a parasite and then just leave once they’ve sucked everything they possibly can from you, and you have nothing left. he literally doesn’t care how much he takes from me. he doesn’t care that he causes another person to not want to live. he’s breaking up with me over a situation i may not be able to control. he won’t even […]
Someone once told me “the grass is much greener on the other side”. So I paid a visit because its possible I missed it. It was different but exactly the same.
Until further notice, I’m in between.
From where I’m standing, my grass is green.
I’m so sick of you trying to fix me, i don’t need your help and i don’t want it. You doesn’t understand how much i already fucking hate myself and how i hate every single thing i do, how i act, look, speak, everything. AND YET you still fucking point out every little fucking imperfection. “stop laying down on your bed and using your laptop” “do something productive” “clean your room” “read a book” ” how are you going to get honour if you don’t work your ass off even though you’re just in grade 9 and nothing matters, but still work your ass of […]
so there’s only three more days until i get to do it. i haven’t set everything in place yet, but hopefully i’ll get to do it soon.
i still have a tom of questions. where do we go after this? what will happen to everybody after?.. but i’m tired of hoping that everything will become better, coz it never really does.
i don’t know what to do. i don’t want to cry anymore. i’m just so tired of everything already.
I’ve always been the caring person who was always there for others.
Yet that has been haunting me.
Somehow because of that people end on blaming me.
I’ve been used by people for just anything whenever they were done with my help they ditched me until they needed me again.
Can someone help me changing that?
1. Try to fit in. If successful, hooray. Skip the rest of this manual and have a wonderful damned life.
2. If you don’t fit in, try harder.
3. If you come to the realization that you can’t fit in, that you are flawed or damaged, or even more astutely if you realize that the world itself is flawed and damaged beyond your ability to tolerate it, then pull up a seat and read the rest of this manual.
4. Convince yourself that you are the problem. This certainly won’t fix anything, nor will it make your life any more bearable, but it may distract you enough to […]
I am here,because of one reason this is true “Love” I am strong I know this because I am also weak. Ive been through most of it,and seen alot heard most of it..I am 19 i’ve lived this life and keep living even though i’ve had my darkness and even when the light is in,theres always gonna be dark because ive learned “The sun cant stay out forever,but the darkness leaves always,and cant stay forever either” this is my story and yes it is true.
I found love at 16 a point in my life when I thought I was gonna give up and give in […]
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