1. Try to fit in. If successful, hooray. Skip the rest of this manual and have a wonderful damned life.
2. If you don’t fit in, try harder.
3. If you come to the realization that you can’t fit in, that you are flawed or damaged, or even more astutely if you realize that the world itself is flawed and damaged beyond your ability to tolerate it, then pull up a seat and read the rest of this manual.
4. Convince yourself that you are the problem. This certainly won’t fix anything, nor will it make your life any more bearable, but it may distract you enough to keep going until you randomly die. In other words, return to Step 2 and stay there.
5. Ok, you clever bastard, you realized that you are not the problem. You realized that the world itself is an inherently corrupt system which doesn’t really need or want someone like you. Yay have a fucking cookie. Now you must dull your mind so that you forget all of this. Methods that have proven moderately successful with others include: (a) copious drug use to the point that your brain cells get damaged and you lose awareness, in which case please return to Step 2 and stay there forever or at least until you overdose and drown in a toilet filled with your own vomit; (b) similar to 5a, find some mind-numbing “spiritual” drug such as religion, meditation, Feng Shui or Chop Suey, whatever floats your boat, and again return to Step 2 forever.
6. Still reading, huh? We got a live one. Well I guess you’ve realized by now that the situation is fucking hopeless. Might I suggest going to a site like suicideproject.org and typing out your last, desperate thoughts. It won’t fix anything, but it’ll keep you occupied for a few minutes, and you will perhaps find a few moments of solace in the thought that there are others like you. And then you can decide if you want to return to Step 2, or proceed to Step 7, which I’m sure if you’ve read this far, you’re smart enough to figure out on your own. May all your problems be solved, one way or another.
5 comments
Ooh, i like this … and it can be flowcharted!
According to Meyer-Briggs, of the sixteen “types” mine is about 1%; so I can relate to most of what you’re saying, but I am now comfortable not fitting in (it only took decades), and I don’t particularly care what other think, but I do care about a select few. (BTW, any other 1%s i’ve known have struggled with belonging too, and they have probably had to learn the four opposite preferences to their own type in order to function.)
I do think we are more than our physical bodies, but it can be hard finding congruent spiritual explorers, and the mainstream religions … may have a nasty incongruent history or be full of conformity beatings.
Yes, flowcharts make life so much more manageable. Just as sucky but more manageable…
I’ve never taken the Meyer-Briggs test, but I’m pretty sure I’m nowhere near the big 16. I generally have a violent reaction to any attempt to categorize people, since it’s generally an excuse for healthcare professionals to be lazy and not bother to figure us out.
“We got a type 7 on table 12. Hold the mayo” makes you feel like a freakin slab of meat.
I guess the problem for us 1%ers is that we’re so far from the accepted norm that society just gives up. Which often leads us to give up.
You nailed it with religion. Same situation. So there are, what, maybe 16 major religions in the world. Will a Meyer-Briggs test tell me which one I should go to? HA
I personally feel like each person’s spiritual identity is as diverse and unique as their physical identity. One phrase I can’t stand is “There is only one God”. Bull shit. There are as many gods as there are people who worship them. No 2 visions of god are alike, just like no 2 perceptions of the world are alike, and no 2 people are alike.
I suppose most people find a group that best describes them and figure close enough. Like it gives them confidence to categorize themselves: “I’m a white, Protestant, Republican, urban professional with a big-boned body type, a touch of depression (just enough to be normal like the rest of society)!” There in one sentence is all they need to know about morality, career, diet, life choices and how to vote. “And the 1%ers, well, they’ll just have to stay off my lawn.”
Or kill ourselves off. Wouldn’t the world be a delightful perfect place then.
this is kind of amazing..
Lol. This is the second post I’ve read by Stain. I’m really liking this guy.
Part of the reason for categorization is so that we can actually establish a pattern. This problem = this treatment. Otherwise, we end up just experimenting on everybody like they’re hamsters.
Can’t win either way, huh?
This is a great post.