Don’t wanna fight no more. I no longer feel pain. I don’t even feel the sadness. Everything is emptiness now. I think i finally died inside, because, no matter what, i can’t feel. I was so used to my sadness, now its all a void. An empty space. A vacuum. The world seems still, all is calm, all is silent. Now, I’m just numb.
all is calm
all is silent,
I cannot feel a thing.
Am I alive or just breathing?
Tag:
Vacuum
Who is there to trust when everyone says lies? who is there to stop me when I choose to die? who is there to help me when I can’t see any reason to stay who is there to pick me up whenever I fall down?
Who.
your such a fat fuck, your just a vacuum, you’ll suck up all of us if you don’t get food.
so I listened and I stopped eating.
Your so ugly, no one cares about fuck shits, nobody wants to see them, they kill people with their ugliness
I listened, and now I’m not only anorexic but am also In the hospital for at […]
Had a few good (sort of) days. Now the depression is coming back like it always does. Suffering 2 month long dakr depression for 2 to 3 days of mild happiness? Who ever said it was worth it was a wonderful optimist. The sad part is the depression is getting worse and darker and playing with my suicide button I don’t really hide at all within myself. I dare it to push it. But no…The depression gets longer into the burning depths while the “happy†days shorten. It makes me want to go back to cutting so I can endure this predictability more easily and […]
I recently moved to a new city. I left behind my friends, my family, my job of seven years….But I did so to go back to school, start a new career, and be closer to my girlfriend was an added bonus. When I got here everything was great. We talked like we always do shared and supported each other. Now….she barely wants to talk to me even though I have done nothing to merit this. I cook I clean I do laundry vacuum do dishes, so if you’re reading this and thinking oh he’s a guy he probably doesn’t do much to help, ya right […]
It was my job to keep my phone by my side…my best friend AKA my brother made it clear that he would call ME, if anyone, if he contemplated suicide. At 9;43PM May 8, 2010, I called him and left a message about the Mother’s Day celebration the following day. In a heavy sleep, I missed a phone call at 6AM from a restricted number. Come 8AM, there was a knock at my door. My girlfriend (I was in a gay relationship at the time) answered the door and came back to bed to inform me that my mother and aunt were there. First thought-SHIT, […]
1. If you go to a therapist, which I very, very highly recommend, be aware that you might have to go to several before you get one you feel can really help. Reserve the energy for that and know that there is a caring, competent one out there for you, despite the ones you may meet at first. It’s worth the search, the most important search you will ever make. Don’t give up just because you may first encounter therapists you ca’t relate to. They all aren’t the same. The best are educators. They will explain how people, you and others, behave the way they do, […]