I am lost in my false reality. Ever sense the love of my life left me I don’t know what to do with myself. He told me he needed time to get his life together and I said I would wait. But the longer I wait the harder it gets. I didn’t want people to know how hurt I was so I tell them we are engaged and will elope next year. If they ask where he is i say away on business. I thought letting myself live in this dream would make me feel better but it just makes me more depressed. I don’t […]
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Vows
I honestly don’t know where to begin. I know this isn’t where I thought I would be, at 34. Writing an anonymous blog about how the scope of my life suddenly seems meaningless.  I’m tired of smiling on the outside when I’m crying on the inside. I’m tired of helping people through all their misery and pain, yet they forget to help me when I’m in need. I’m tired of work, and the stress it has caused me — but I’ve gone too far. I’m too accomplished that leaving would cause all the would-be supporters to clamor, “you’re such an idiot for throwing away your career.” […]
My entire life seems cursed with pain, unfairness and shortcomings. My dad died when I was 14 and my grandparents were dead before I was born. My mom has tried hard to raise me right but she had to work 2 jobs my entire childhood and spent most of her free time with her boyfriend away from our home. In a nutshell I had to teach myself everything without much of a role model. During high school I turned to drinking beer and during my senior year I averaged an 18 pack of beer per night. My grades failed miserably and I never really had […]