I always get on here and just look at everything everyone is saying so I figured I would post something today. I have many scars and a black heart. I miss the way I was before I started cutting myself, but I wouldn’t change a damn thing in my life or anything I have done to myself. The other day I broke down completely in front of the man I thought I could trust completely. I bawled my eyes out for almost an hour because of my f*cked up life and how bad I was feeling about everything. I tried to explained my feelings but […]
Tag:
want
i want to die
As to anyone if you need to talk, vent, yell, say anything and everything. Kik me boricua_loca23. I will not judge you nor anything you need to talking about. Please if you want to talk. Don’t be shy or scared I’m just here if you need someone.
Once again as the time ticks on my parents ask if I’m okay.
You want the truth mom I’m not okay far from it but thanks for trying.
Dad: do I even call you dad anymore? You want the truth too!? I hate you I never thought I’d get here but bam! Life proves me wrong. Why do I hate you? Your an insufferable, arrogant, asshole that I’ve hated since I was 10, 3 years! This hate has grown stronger. You yell and make me feel worthless, you say all this bullshit about me like you mean it all but you fucking don’t. You know you don’t. […]
My mom doesn’t understand that she is only making things worse for me. She says she’s going to get me counseling and that I need to talk to someone about God. I just want her to listen and accept me without trying to force religion on me. I do believe there is a god, but I have questions. However, who doesn’t? She screams and yells at me for things she doesn’t even understand herself. She tells me that I need to talk to someone. Well, the only person I want to reach out to and tell them why I am the way I am is […]
So friendship is something we all have and go through the laughs the vets the betrayal. So why is it that me being an idiot doesn’t want to get close Im afraid of getting betrayed and hurt. OS that just me when I’m in a friendship or do you guys and girls have it too. I don’t want to feel like I’m the only one who pushes people away when they try and get near to you.
I don’t want to go to work Wednesday. I’m off the next two days. But I know asshat will be there. I can’t deal with him anymore
i just want to go.
people wont miss me.
the one person i thought
that would miss me
well i just discovered that
in the end they wont miss me
theyll move on
i just want to leave
im numb but in
so much pain
all at the same time
its weird because
i cant feel happiness
i dont remember
how to be happy
what it feels like to
be happy
all i know how to
feel is sad, pained,
and lonely
oh and ignored.
i guess i was right
this world is better off
without me.
isn’t it?
yes it is.
I feel this weird combination of hate and depression. I hate everyone else, yet I feel depressed every time I see them (my “friends”). What hurts me the most is the fact that nothing really really bad has happened to me, yet I feel very depressed and sad. I shouldn’t. There are people who are in a worst situation than me. But I can’t get over that feeling. I feel alone, yet maybe I’m not. Maybe I should be happy, but I don’t feel happy. I feel really sad.
I’ve been told like a million times things like “Get over it. I think you’re the one […]
My body is destroying itself. Suicide would only speed up the process that had begun the day I was born.
I have a chronic illness. On a typical day, I wake up feeling as though I haven’t slept, struggle to get ready for work, barely get through work, and have to crash as soon as I get back home, sometimes without so much as eating. If I’m lucky, the pain is at a 5/10 or below. If I’m not so lucky, it’s at at least an 8 and climbing the longer I push myself through a day. Apparently my 8 is a normal person’s 10/10.
Right now […]
Expectations have destroyed me it’s hurts to be here anymore every one thinks I act this way for attention (and by every one I mean my parents) I’ve tried confessing to my parents but my Mom just yelled at me and told me it’s normal I should just get used to it but I don’t want to be used to this pain and unhappiness I’ve felt for ten years my dad took a whole different approach he threatened to take my doors off and get my admitted in an insane asylum I know it’s not normal the way I feel but I have no one […]
I feel hopeless. I’m failing school, all my friends have turned on me and call me a liar. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I do nothing but cry all the time. I thought I was getting better but it came back. It always comes back; this hell. It gets in your head and makes you unable to cope. I started to self mutilate again, something I promised myself I would never do again. I was clean for months, since October. I know it’s getting really bad because I’m contemplating suicide again. I have it planned out, exactly what I would do and that scares […]
I 100% want to commit suicide. Â This is not a new thing, I’ve been feeling like this for a very long time! God and my family has prevented me, now for the last 2years, the only thing preventing me is my parents, the rest doesn’t matter anymore. Yes, I’ve been for help, psychiatrist, doctors and psychologist. Been on meds. But i’m going to try and live through until my parents are gone, then me. I just wish it can be sooner!
I wait for hours
I wait up all night
I wait
Hoping that someone will be there.
Will be there to help me pick up myself
Help me pick up my broken heart
Help me put it back together for the next day
But alas its like last night
And the night before last night
No one is there for me like I am there for them
I simply cant take it anymore
I have waited far too long and too much
I wait every night until 1-2 am
Then the pain comes
Crushing me
Making me want to die
Why am I so dependent?
for once i felt finally okay
i felt good
i felt like i was going to recover soon
but then it came crashing down
this wave of depression
it hit me and it hurt me
everything started coming back again
the nightmares, the voices, everything
the urge to cut is greater now
ive found out more ways to hurt myself
it doesnt do any good though
but i do like and i dont know why
i started eating full meals
a few days ago
but now that has changed
i can feel my family stare
as i go to get food
judging me
watching me
Ow are you sadie?
ow my goodinesh :'(
why are you sad?
your sunshine didn’t shine today?
don’t get sad
you’re soo preetty *u*
you’re soo cuuddly ><
reeally sweetie ^^
donchu want to get…haaappy?
smiiiile ^u^
if you don't smile I'm going to cuddle you
and tickle your belly :3
I knew you'd be smiling at this point 🙂
if i know i have no chance for a life, should i kill myself now and get it over with, even though i want to live a better life but it seems impossible? i don’t want to kill myself. but i see no other way. seriously, i want to live. i want a life. but it is clear now that that’s impossible. why put all of my energy into graduating if it’s not going to happen? he’s made it clear. and if i don’t graduate, that’s it for me. and i have no reason to be around. that’s all i care about at this point. […]
Hello there,
I am approaching 40 yo and am looking for reasons why to live still. I find it difficult to be with people, and that includes anyone, including my parents with whom I have recently (2months) moved home with.
I have a long simple yet complicated story but will share to see if anyone can relate or perhaps offer any words of wisdom.
The story starts I guess about 12 years ago, when living with someguys, whom after a while I found not being able to contribute to stories etc, so would politely excuse myself from their presence, ie go outside for a smoke, say i’m going to […]
im in the studio right now, and I’m having a break down. i can’t do this. i want to talk to him so badly. i can’t stop freaking out. i want to talk to him. i can’t. i want to graduate. i want my work to be great. i want a good life. i want him in my life forever, but not as friends. i want him to know how much i love him and care about him and how insane he is. all i want is to be with him, to graduate, and to get a job. i fucking sitting in the corner right […]