I want to die. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’m tired of struggling. I’m tired of what’s right & wrong. Everyday is a huge waste of energy. I just want to disappear. I’m tired of being the crazy one. The one in therapy…that’s not working. So I feel like a failure. I fail at all I touch.
want
I just want to begin with that I am an atheist, science is my only faith. So DO NOT GIVE ME ANY RELIGIOUS BULLSH*T. But to get down to it, I can’t deal with this existence anymore. I am weak. I am not capable of being, I am nowhere near strong enough. I hate this world, I hate myself and who I have become. I don’t want to be a part of this bullsh*t anymore. I have had a wonderful upbringing. Every opportunity has been afforded to me. I have no reason to feel this way. I have a bright outlook, academically and professionally. I’ve […]
I bought what I now know was a cheap tongue piercing a month ago.Earlier I was at a friends house & the plastic on my piercing came off but I didn’t know.I was drinking water & felt It going down my throat. I drank a lot water to swallow It but I couldnt.I tried to throw it up but I couldn’t.I felt my breathing & heart beat start to slow down.I started to get terrifed,I was seconds away from telling my friend to take me to the hospital but I didn’t wanna seem like a *****.Plus he didn’t have a ride.I was sitting there scared […]
I recently had my girlfriend (who I thought was the love of my life) somewhat leave me. I thought that she was the one, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. She made me so happy, that I couldn’t imagine life (or living) without her. When we first started dating, I felt the happiest that I have ever felt in my life. We were so in love, and she would look in my eyes and all of my problems went away. But now I just feel alone, I haven’t seen her in like two weeks, and she won’t reply to […]
What would I say? What would they want to hear? What would they want to know? These are a few of the questions that I have about what will happen after I’m gone. Other than that there really isn’t any telling what will happen to whom and how. There are of course the general predictions that we make about those that we know both in our families and out and about what our children will be like when they have fully grown, but aside from all of that, I really don’t care to find out.
In all honesty, I am not too eager to find […]
why do i feel so bad? my life is perfect so why do i want to see all the pain ooze out of my wrists? i love my girlfriend and shes why im alive, yet i beg for the feeling of not feeling anything. should i man up an live with it and keep it hidden or tell her my pain? why do they tell you it will all be ok when you get help? that the magic pills will save you? that the people will remember and continue to care when they eventually forget? why?
Sometimes I really wish to disappear for a while
I feel so lonely . Not really that I have no friends
its that I think no one will devote all of them for me
i am willing to prepare and spend a lot of effort for my beloved ones . But I just think no one will do the same for me
no one will actually treasure me and put me as their priority
I have bff and bf . But I’m just confused of my importance to them
Also I got a lot of stress from my schoolworks
im going to take the public examination and I have to work extremely […]
Reality sucks, Reality suck, Reality boring, I hate Reality, boring Reality, Reality is boring !
Reality is boring & LIMITED !! I hate Reality ! boring Reality !
Real life is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real life ! boring real life !
Real world is boring & LIMITED !! I hate real world ! boring real world !
I also hate this life, I hate people / humans (well.. MOST/90% of them), I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and especially nowadays become ONLY very materialistic, money / profits driven only, all about money, money, money, & image, image, image! ; it’s very superficial, shallow, and mundane boring!
Why movies, video games, comics, books, novels, anime/manga, […]
There’s nothing more to say
Here at the end, will I find
Unleash, are you my monster
Are you all mine, all mine
Thank you for being so sweet
Be my little flower, take me
I’ve gone crazy, are you
Can I see you tonight, Maurice
Let me know, let me know
You want to Samba, you want to fight
Let’s f***
Monster rally
Someone really helped me. It’s long, but I want to put it into words and share.
Yesterday I felt extremely lonely. Devoid of all emotion. I just…couldn’t feel anything at all.
Almost anything. Just when I looked in the mirror and saw age spots and gray hair on someone so young it just showed the fighting I’ve been doing and stress of my life. At that moment I felt anger, worthlessness, and wasted years. It was like all of the emotions I’ve felt were physically manifesting themselves as a cruel reminder, every time I look the mirror – looking back at me.
I was thinking about suicide…again…but I […]
Some might think of this as just exaggeratory, but I am coming up on a birthday that I consider a milestone/breaking point in life. Has anyone ever gotten to similar points where all an upcoming date reminds you of is how much hasn’t been accomplished, or happened for you? I really don’t want to see that day, and keep hoping I can get to a peace with my death because I don’t see much after that day. Anyone have similar experiences/perspectives? This song sums it up nicely for me……
what is a permalink? it appeared out of nowhere i did not put it there… hello how are you doing? i hope you are alright. i thought about this place now because i am going to put an end on it and i would like someone to know it i want to say it i want to say it to someone who is not going to lock me up and say i am crazy i know i am insane i’ve had enough i am not even distressed i know what i should do and i am calm i already told my mom i am going […]
Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always felt alone. Even though I grew up around a loving family, had siblings, cousins and friends, I still felt absolutely alone. I have always had this yearning to belong, to feel loved and to feel connected to someone or something.
I’ve always kept a diary and I use that to vent my frustrations or to release anything that I thought about obsessively. Now, at 28 I feel more alone than ever before. I truly feel like no one cares about me. Throughout my life, I’ve cried so many times and have felt so much unexplainable hurt and […]
Hi. I’m a guy that is never accepted or understood wherever I go. I have got several diagnosed problems such as depression and no matter what I do, it haunts me day to day. The isolation for 20 years. I have tried so many times to end the pain Im living on a day to day basis.
I just want it over and done with now.
can someone please help!
I will sink all the way
But the now at eternal apex
God, I am so alone, abyss
Chained Minotaur in labyrinth
Behind the gates is whom that I seek
Shiva, oh godddess, you are the Queen
A bewildered child of hell in the scene
That nobody, that nobody knows, the pain
I just want to breathe, rectify Satan
Nobody sings
I want to tell you something. To be honest, it’s hardly exciting, but hey, won’t you listen anyway? It’s- it’s my story. Who knows, maybe you’ll incorporate something from my tale into yours, something positive I hope. Perhaps that will make my story meaningful in some way.
Today I lost my final bastion of support. But really, I can only blame myself at this point; truly, I should have either gotten a lot better by now. The past 10 months has witnessed me trying to hang myself a countless quantity of times. Pardon the unimaginative phrasing, but I am utterly, utterly dead and wasted inside. I’ve […]
Despite feeling helpless and suicidal through the later part of middle school and all of high school and college, I had never cut myself. I had never really felt the desire to.
But now, things are different. About 2 months ago I was very depressed and I tried cutting my upper arm and my legs. I wasn’t very good at it, so little blood came out. The marks went away about a month later.
But since then I’ve cut 3 more times. The 3rd time I cut, I cut my stomach and my lower leg. I work at home now, using my computer for 95% of my […]
I have student loans. A personal loan. Attorneys fees for a divorce I’m going through. I have NO JOB. No income. I’ve applied to every job available here including fast food jobs and nobody will hire me. I’ve suffered from depression and bipolar disorder. I have no idea what I’m doing anymore. I’m lost. I have no hope. I can’t even see myself making it to next month because I can’t afford to pay anything. I don’t want to die, but I feel like it’s my only option. I’m just so sad and depressed and scared about my finances. I wish I could just go […]
“I Don’t Eat Chocolate”
Can I roll over
Can I buy you a skateboard
Do you want to be a raver
A dying planet, can I die and fly
With the galaxy, too
Even though I’m so ugly
Can you still be my friend
You don’t have to hold my hand
Do you have a nice place
What about the air, does it smell
I use my own plates and utensils
Like a half-stage Ebola
Can you be the Balboa
.
Why did they choose white.
I can’t even sit in a new, freshly “neutral” white painted. apartment for 5 minutes, without the greatest feeling of discomfort anymore.
Hospitals, Institutions, Doctors, Lights, all rooms and hallways, even the freaking beds and gowns and the stupid little wristbands…
Waking up, and the first thing you see is that awful white ceiling, blinking your eyes just to make sure it’s real, because it’s not the ceiling you saw when you closed your eyes. A slight panic might creep up, how can that be?, “where am I?”
Turning your head around, just to pan over more of the white, walls, […]