I am a 30 year old army vet. I was seriously injured during my time in service. I’ll be in a wheelchair by the time I am 45. The va is so incompetent that I can’t even get my antidepressants or pain meds. I have never been so alone.
I am going to commit suicide on my 33rd birthday, and am getting my affairs in order so as not to burden anyone with my passing.
I was born disabled. Not your typical disability like being in a wheelchair or something but a very horrible genetic disease that has severe effects on the organs, skin and brain.  I’ve been waiting to die now for three decades and it just hasn’t happened.   I have been too sick to leave home for the last 5 years. I want to hurry up the process.  I wish that I had access to ********. It would make a huge difference just to have that available and know that there’s a way out.  I frequently think about leaping from an upper floor of the hospital. I like the idea […]
I remember, The Tuesday before I got admitted.. I was walking down a street going to buy a rope. I looked across the street and this old couple were walking together.. Apart from he was in a wheelchair hooked up to what looked like oxygen. It was a sad sight.. But I kept going.. To see a mother with her children.
All just got me thinking. And now? I’ve found out something else that has literally driven me crazy. I just want my happy back.
Stop blaming yourself Nat, You couldn’t have possibly done that. Don’t listen to them.
You were doing great Nat, But nothing lasts forever, […]
I’m one of those ‘bad luck’ kind of girls. It’s easier to point to my LiveJournal, but I don’t know that it’s allowed since it’s adult-related. You can skip the story with this synopsis: I have  no family, my friends are in other states, my luck with men is horrible, I survived (if you really want to call it that) extreme childhood abuse that turned into finding jerks to replay it.
I spent several years of my teens homeless on the streets of Los Angeles dodging hookers, pimps, and all manner of foul person. I’ve never been arrested and got my stupid drug using years over […]
Once when wanting to die I got ememensely drunk. Left what I couldn’t drink of my pay check on the bar and walked till I found a woods and found a wood pile and buried myself at the bottom. I didn’t want to die in a sudden gory way that was definitive. The worst on the people that knew me is that they would occassionally wonder where in the world I might be. The best is some wild life would have a good feast.
It would have made things easier now if I hadn’t woken up with the solitary need to get warm. I have been catapulted […]
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