cold as fuck yo
I’m gonna try and make/keep a pledge this winter to not feel the cold loneliness of winter and the holidays. Of course I will feel lonely, but I want to try my best not to make excuses to why I’m so lonely, blaming it on the cold and the holidays. I don’t want to be desperate for some one else to be there. I don’t want to provoke sympathy from others by claiming “the winter’s are so lonely, they are the worst”
I want to make a pledge to be strong and endure, unshaken. I won’t let my mind be taken over by the cold […]
8/09/14
4:10 am
He had eyes like coffee and hair like bread, skin like winter and brain like hell. He had lips like razors and heart like sun. He had beard like leafs and touch as cold. He loved me like spring, and left like the wind. He changed like the seasons, forgetting me.
Somewhere in Norway, or Sweden or Canada. It’s clear water, maybe in the mountains and it snows during winter. And you can go fishing there, I’ve never been fishing but I would learn how to. A cat and a dog, we would do long walks along the lake in summer, and when it’s cold outside we’d cuddle by the fire with lots of blankets and hot chocolate. I’d even grow my own food if I had to, just a small garden with vegetables. I would have […]
I have never really written anything for anyone else to read before… to tell you the truth… I am not sure if this is a good idea. But I am going to try.
I was diagnosed with severe depression when I was 15. By the age of 20, I was on and off 12 different anti-psychotics, anti depressants, and anxiety medication. I was hospitalized seven times for suicide attempts.
They then told me I have what is called Borderline Personality Disorder. With Major depression. I am now 23.
I just… I hate myself so much. I became impulsive, after my boyfriend of six years and I broke up, […]
I went shopping today & caught myself going through the winter clothing sale racks, thinking to buy for next winter. Whats the point? The universe has only 4 months left to brighten up my life before I’m done.
It is amazing how many times I could have stolen from shops. You see, I have to use a walking stick if I’m going anywhere. And I always wear a small backpack. Whenever you exit a store, the person at the front is supposed to stop you to check your bag if its larger than say a small clutch-purse. Not one og the stores I went in & […]
”Why are you measuring me? Thank you sir, but I don’t need a new suit.” – He’s the undertaker…
– I ran into your ex today…. with my car.
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I WANT TO DIE. Right fucking now. It never gets any better I swear. My soul is bleeding from exhaustion. I am so tired, so bored of trying. I can’t take it. I want to close my eyes and never wake up. I’m just waiting for the right day to do it. I can’t take another winter. Fuck this life […]
She’s sleeping across from me, her consciousness vacant in the deep slumber of winter suspension. I can feel the pulsating music of her breath, fleeting softly in its trembling exhale and the delicate flutter of her inhale. I can see the small flicker of movement beneath the thin pale of her eyelids, almost lost in her catatonic beauty. Her chest rises and quivers with its innocent vulnerability, almost audible in the emptiness of the room. I’m breathing in the naked intimacy existing between her and I as I bathe in her captivating presence. I can feel her phantom dancing around me, her hands twirling, twisting in […]
Im 24 and have decided that I cannot any longer liVe my life.
My probkems started years ago..my parents were both very neglecting, Â and favoured drinking over their children regularly.
I was beaten by my dad until I was 18
Me and my mother have always been strangers…she just dosent like me
I was for all that reasonably popular un school but I have been battling severe insecurities about myself since 14
I found love 5 years ago this week
But the relationship is non existent and my girlfriend is only using me for money before she finishes with me for someone else
She didn’t even want to see me for our […]
it’s an interesting genre of music, but this is my favorite song within it.
As a sufferer of bad GAD and social anxiety, having to ride the bus out to college was extremely stressful and at times distressing as my anxiety would flare up real bad. But this song helped me at least enjoy the view out the window in the early morning with the sun painting the sky a brilliant orange. Unless it was winter. Then the sky was shitty and black.
Lol, well, I hope you at least enjoy this song.
I have this wild urge to drop everything to move away and be a stripper in a big city.
Is that considered reckless behavior? or reckless thinking in this case?
I’m almost drawing up a game plan here to leave this winter.
I’ll end up destroying myself.. I can feel it
Wow. I almost forgot what it was like to be alone. I forgot how gut-wrenchingly horrifying it is. How it eats you from the inside out. boyfriend hast talked to me in over two weeks. We see each other all the time, and I try to talk to him, but it’s like we don’t know how anymore. I’m not going to be able to keep this up. All of my friends have been getting mad at me because I fuck things up all the time. My best friend though, is still there. She’d never leave…right? My only other actual friend is a guy in my […]
Today is some sort of miracle for people around here, because it’s almost 70℉ (that’s something like 21 â…‘ ℃) – a radical change from the wintery, disgusting crap we’ve been getting over the past few months. The sun actually exists now, and people are throwing Frisbees around campus (I was dumbfounded, too) just for shits and giggles, I guess. I’ve read journals that say that winter is typically a shit time for depression, because there’s no sun or Vitamin D or much else interesting in that area.
So, here’s to a less depressing spring. And summer, and whatever else there is.
Oh, […]
I fell like there’s a stone destroying my chest..
my body has banned me cry..
I refused to look sad at school or in front of my friends..
I have to be a support to my friends
I have to stop cutting
I’m the only who want to scream?
my world is in other dimension..
please just tell me that I’m not the only one feeling like that right now
nesecito contarle a alguien mi vida pero tengo tanto miedo de darle mis problemas a otro, ser feliz no era lo mas importante? no tengo corazon, estoy sola, me siento asi pero me da miedo […]
I walk upon this lonely road in a garden of the damned,
Where everyone will sleep one day and the ones who want to rot.
Their flowers wilt and spoil and brown from famine;
It isn’t true when people say they haven’t fought.
There’s blood among roses and posies and wildflowers,
And you don’t need thorns to make it so.
They slowly bleed up to the final hour;
Then nothing can save them and they feel alone.
There’s blood in the leaves and blood in the trees, everything decked in crimson,
No one seems to notice – except us, we do;
I wonder if they’re […]
I love the spring !
the season of rebirth: the sunny days are back, the weather is ideal (not too hot), the almost balance between day and night
my 2nd favorite season is the fall .. basically, I’m not a fan of extremes when it comes to weather
I might have to postpone my death to late may – early june
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