Wow. I almost forgot what it was like to be alone. I forgot how gut-wrenchingly horrifying it is. How it eats you from the inside out. boyfriend hast talked to me in over two weeks. We see each other all the time, and I try to talk to him, but it’s like we don’t know how anymore. I’m not going to be able to keep this up. All of my friends have been getting mad at me because I fuck things up all the time. My best friend though, is still there. She’d never leave…right? My only other actual friend is a guy in my winter percussion group. Well, season is over. Hopefully we’ll still talk. I understand if we don’t. People just, well, leave. We lost our competition today. Just barely missed it. We were so close to finals.
Before we showed I told myself I was going to give the performance my all. To show my parents that I’m dedicated to this. This is what I live for and I want to do nothing else In my life. That I’m worth something and that I’m not a disappointment like they think I am. But we reached just short of that. I almost proved all of that…
Guess I do fuck everything up.
1 comment
Even if everyone else leaves you, I’ll try my best to be here for you. Even though I don’t know you I already like you. Seriously though, Winter Percussion? That’s so sick. I don’t know if that is the same as Winter Drumline, but good for you. That stuff is intense. Personally, I’m not a percussionist. Just a wind player. I was dragged into Winter Guard… I’d rather learn percussion. Either way, don’t feel like a failure. You are a beautiful person. And if your ‘friends’ are leaving you, they weren’t your friends. Friends will be with you to the end. Through thick and thin. And if they leave, then you were too good for them anyway. You’re better off for not being dragged down by them. And talk to your percussion friend, from personal experience they are pretty cool friends. And even if you want, I’ll be here for you. If you want to talk: lolgaikotsu@gmail.com.