Tag:

work

Lost our animal nature?

by elliecats 6/6/2014

written by elliecats

This morning I was meditating on sexual abuse because I was abused until I was about 10 or 11 and I’m having a hard time dealing with the grief. And I was asking myself: why are there so many people who stand by and let it happen?

Perfect example: dad abuses kid and mom pretends she does not know, but OF COURSE she knows. She might notice her kid is a little “off”, but thinks they’re still upset about being punished for mouthing off last week. She sees the cuts on her kid (which the kind did him or herself)Â but buys the story about the […]

6/6/2014 2 comments

Bedbugs R Us – Rant

by elliecats 6/6/2014

written by elliecats

I only have one “friend” locally in town and she is dumber than fuck. She has an unbelievable bedbug infestation – so bad that they are living in her oven. If you know anything about bedbugs, you know that they like to live near their prey (and she doesn’t stay long by the oven) and they don’t live inside metal structures (generally) unless there are so goddamn many of them that they run out of other places to live in the house. This is my friend’s situation. I call her dumb because she refuses to admit she has them and refuses to take any steps […]

6/6/2014 3 comments

Faking Happiness? Oh, and I picked a date.

by elliecats 6/5/2014

written by elliecats

Has anyone had any success faking being happy? If so, I want to hear your ideas…. PLEASE.Â Iwork at this job that I don’t like at all and I am so depressed that it is getting hard to get up each day.Â But, I MUST appear happy at work. Our company serves these rich people and you must be nicey-nice and kissy-butt all of the time.Â I MUST be cheerful, sunny and bright, no matter how terrible or tired I feel.

I know I’m walking around with this stupid, fake goddamn smile pasted on my face, but I risk losing my job if I do not. […]

6/5/2014 2 comments

hi

by everythinghurts 6/5/2014

written by everythinghurts

I hate myself, I hate people, everything hurts. I don’t understand happy people. Even if someone is not a psycho, most people are assholes. Everything depresses me, the pills don’t work, the exercise doesn’t work, therapy doesn’t work. A 15 year old boy was raped in the bathroom of my local mall. You’d think a kid that age is safe to go alone to the bathroom. I read that two 12 year old girls stabbed another 12 year old girl 19 times. A man tried to sell his baby for $50. What the fuck is this shit hole? How can anyone be happy? Is everyone […]

6/5/2014 5 comments

Off the grid

by Phil McLoven 6/4/2014

written by Phil McLoven

Â I don’t think I want to kill myselfÂ quite as badly as I just want to stop participating in modern day life. We go to school, get a job, buy shit we really don’t need, and rarely ask “why the fuck am I doing this”?

If you live in society you need money to pay for essentials like food, shelter and clothing. But doÂ you really need a cellphone, a car, furniture, credit cards, internet access, health care, etc? Is any of that essential for survival? No, but you want it, so you work in order to earn […]

6/4/2014 22 comments

Happening

by survive25 6/2/2014

written by survive25

This year I will be 25. I have been obsessed with suicide since my abusive childhood and have known I wanted to do it at age 25. I was raised with insanely high expectations. Long story short, I was beaten by my parent whenever my grades were below 99%. I wasn’t allowed to have friends. I was timed everyday from when I left to house to when I came home. No tv or phone calls, no christmas presents or magical princess birthday parties. Just school work and sleep. I’ve been punched, kicked, beaten with bats whenever I tried to stand up to myÂ parent. I’ve beenÂ calledÂ me […]

6/2/2014 4 comments

2 kinds of people…

by Stain 6/1/2014

written by Stain

There are those who die before they’re ready. And there are those who are ready before they die.

Timing is the only problem. I’ve been ready to die for at least 20 years but it hasn’t happened. On the other hand somewhere in the world, someone got hit by a bus and killed 20 years before she would’ve accomplished her life’s work. Oopsie. Life’s a ***** like that.

The best you can do is decide when it’s time to die and immediately make it happen. Those are the only true winners in this world.

6/1/2014 1 comment

Shut away

by soulsurvivr 6/1/2014

written by soulsurvivr

Right now, I am scrolled away in my spare bedroom upstairs. Â It can getÂ claustrophobic up here as it is a converted attic with only a small skylight for a window. Â I have been up here for two days avoiding my boyfriend…. avoiding the world, really.

I am a 50 year old female with too much loss in my life and have reached a point where I just don’t want to go on. Â I am sure I don’t have the worst story out there, but for me, its been far too taxing.

In 2003, I buried my only daughter (9 years old) from a tragic car accident. Â She […]

6/1/2014 2 comments

I need this all to end

by nozmoking 6/1/2014

written by nozmoking

I posted last week about repeatedly falling out of bed a few days earlier and ending up in the E.R. with respiratory failure from some type ofÂ Pneumonia. Fucked as my luck runs a few days later I was released to home care and cleared to go back to work.Â Of course I am far weaker than before the incident and my usual level of physical pain is now at least twice as intense as it was before.

I could barely do my job as it was. It takes me nearly two hours to get out of bed and dress for work – God only knows […]

6/1/2014 4 comments

broken

by girlboysong 6/1/2014

written by girlboysong

I ruined a friendship with one of my best friends because of work stress and now all I can think about is that I am a huge fuckup and want to die. I don’t even care about the job. I care about my friend. Why do I always get angry and push people away like this? I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It all seems so illogical and distant now.

6/1/2014 0 comment

Can anybody help me?

by rainbow123 5/31/2014

written by rainbow123

God, I don’t even know anymore. It started a couple of months ago and it was a song that triggered it.. I now seem to be a ***** to people now.. I get so angry over such little things such a someone not putting a lid on a pen.. I treat all my friends like shit, the ones that have been there for me for so long, the ones that know me inside out.. my best friends ): I push all my friends away and now I only hang out wiith people that use me for sex or whatnot.. I don’t know why because thdy […]

5/31/2014 8 comments

Work and cutting

by meris 5/31/2014

written by meris

I’ve been cutting at work, probably not the best idea but I mean, I’m alone there for 10 hours a day with nothing to do but talk In a mic. It becomes inclusive at that point, I don’t know what to do anymore at this point. Grr

5/31/2014 1 comment

Beaten But Not Defeated

by tylar 5/28/2014

written by tylar

I had an appointment with my mental health team again today, or something that resembled that, as it was agnes again, the women who’s job a monkey could do, which sounds cruel I know, but she studied for what three to five years to be a counsellor, yet displays no professional skill, its like talking to one of my mums friends, or some women who just walked in off the street

To be honest I was in a mood, she started off by saying ‘what a lovely day, good day to get some washing out, do you ever hang out washing’ I didn’t reply, so […]

5/28/2014 3 comments

I think later

by Remnant The Unbroken 5/26/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

I might try the hotline again.

Or now. I don’t know.

I really have the urge to overdose even if it isn’t going to work. Maybe I can duct tape my mouth shut so I choke on my vomit.

Yummy.

5/26/2014 0 comment

an attempt that probably wont work

by passionfruit3 5/26/2014

written by passionfruit3

i am writing this down more as a note to myself than to all of you but you can still listen.I am not going to kill myself in a few days from now though i may die and that is the intended goal as i do not have the desired will to live,But im probably not going to die as my attempts always fail.
the plan will be to reschedule appointments to friday that way i can get an important event out of the way.Id like to take friday off completely but i dont know if thats possible.anyway after my appointment i will go to […]

5/26/2014 2 comments

Broken

by matt786 5/22/2014

written by matt786

I’m just gonna throw this out there. I am mentally and spiritually broken. I have been laid off twice in the last two years. Married with two kids. Was active in church. Was very close to losing my house. Was unable to pay my bills had power and gas getting turned off almost monthly. I found out real quickly who really cares about you when you hit rock bottom which turned out to be no one. I thought my wife was my best friend in this world but I swear she has cheated on me with a co worker. She went and partied with this […]

5/22/2014 2 comments

Autopilot

by someonelikeyouknew 5/20/2014

written by someonelikeyouknew

Isn’t is funny how easily auto-pilot comes on in the very darkest of days? The lies flow so smoothly. I talk about fixing my car, getting an apartment. I continue my discussions about long-term career goals. All the while, I stare at the person I’m talking to, wondering distantly if this will be the last time I talk to them. It’s just that everyone seems so far away at this point. My plans have become my obsession. I have tunnel vision. Besides a vague, quickly released thought, I can’t allow myself to think too deeply about them and the effects my actions will have. But […]

5/20/2014 0 comment

Do older people lie when …

by justme- 5/19/2014

written by justme-

they call teenagers/young adults pretty or handsome?

I went to work with my dad today as he got me an internship there, and many of his friends were commenting on how handsome I was. I felt flattered but as someone with body dysmorphic disorder, I couldn’t take anyÂ of them seriously. Is it something that you adults just say or do you actually mean it?

I’d like honest answers.. thanks.

5/19/2014 5 comments

Life Decided?

by TroubledOne 5/12/2014

written by TroubledOne

How does one justify life? Â I’m 34 years old, I’ve lived a decidedly easy life compared to most. Â I’ve made choices in my life that put me where I am today. Â I have a great career and a lot invested in it. Â I have a wife, a step-son and an adopted son.. Â My future is set in stone, my life is decided.

What if I realize that the choices that got me where I am were the wrong choices and I can’t take them back? Â Do I ditch my old life for a new one and destroy lives around me so I can be happy? Â Or […]

5/12/2014 4 comments

Going nowhere

by ShadowMoses 5/11/2014

written by ShadowMoses

I can’t get out of my own head.

All the things I used to care about I don’t anymore. I used to care about working with youth and becoming a teacher and Changing someone’s life. Now I’ve dropped out of teaching school and my extra curricular activity working with youth.

I feel very unimportant in all aspects of my life. My hours at work got cut, now that other people have been hired I’mÂ not important at work anymore. I stopped going to youth as my importance there dropped off. I used to do lectures there and now I’m not asked to do that anymore. I don’t know […]

5/11/2014 1 comment

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