Right now, I feel like the only reason that I’m able to enjoy my life and my days is knowing that I can end my life soon. Maybe I won’t be depressed enough anymore then to have the will to do it, but I strongly feel that if 2 months from today I’m as depressed as I was 2 months ago I will probably end my life swiftly and sober and, I hope, somewhat detached.
It’s ironic that accepting this and seeing it as a goal in the future to get me out of the situation I’m in is helping to allow me to really enjoy […]