I’m a bit angry about it, but I did it to stop burdening family.
All they see is a grown up unable to put down games to take care of life’s responsibilities.
So I told them I’ll just delete all of it. Partially wanted all the talk of being unable to last a day without playing games to stop, partially was tired of all the grief I’d been getting about those same things over and over again.
So it’s been done.
Dunno if I will regret this choice, but I lost my game files before and had to start over, so honestly it doesn’t matter.
I think I’m just tired. I’ve been staring at my now mostly empty screen, and trying to troubleshoot Linux Mint.
It’s sad because I’d just started some new games that I wanted to play for a long while now, but it doesn’t really matter anymore.
I’m not giving up, but a part of me has definitely died today. Games are how I made friends in college and got me into tech in general, so idk if I made the right choice but I wiped my drives without backing up game saves so it’s all gone now anyway.
I’ll find other more important things to do I guess. I have bills I need to pay, credit to build, and a life to resuscitate.
It still sucks though. Maybe I really am depressed. I don’t care about wrestling as much anymore, or basketball, I played a lot of games more out of habit I guess, and don’t keep up with music like I used to. I don’t write like before or read as much. I’ve lost a lot of personality since high school, so I really don’t know how I’ll wind up spending time now.
So no more games for the foreseeable future.
1 comment
one of my close friends IRL has this obsession that he has a video game “addiction”, obviously I don’t subscribe to that idea… having lost access to games not due to me deleting, but due to publishers going out of business, the ravages of time….. I can’t imagine doing it on purpose, but you do you.
there will theoretically always be more games. Lately I’m just feeling meh about mine. Dopamine overload, too much reward to the point that there doesn’t seem to be a point. ADHD makes life… see I was going to say interesting, but actually the exact reverse, I have an eternal indifference towards things that excite and stimulate others, then for a short bit I hyper fixate, and then that fades.
which is why it’s so hard for me to believe in addiction in general. The same stimulus still doing it for you long term? That’s pretty bizarre to me. I mean, apart from chemicals, I know a thing or two about good chemicals.