I feel so lost right now: one of my few close friends- a girl- made me feel…………..special. We had just gone to see a marvel movie, and we were in the car, just chatting. I had previously mentioned to her passingly in the last week or so that I thought that I was going to being moving away soon, and she had reacted in a semi-sad, but mostly just bummed out way. But I brought the subject up again in the car, because I wanted to get her opinion on the whole thing. She started tearing up and sad that she’d really miss me. I […]
Tag:
worrying
Wondering what to think in order to fall asleep. Can’t tell if everything is lost in cacophony or if there isn’t anything to begin with. Both are worrying. Vacillating between wanting quiet and dreading it.
I suppose there are thing I want stopped and things I want ended, and neither thought yields any comfort. I’m not even sure this is comforting, it’s just something.
Its going to 8am n im awake cant sleep so much on my mind i really hate feeling so sad and always thinking and worrying im so pissed off with my own family member her actions really get to me like then i get told dont worry about wat she does dont stress it but it does hurt even when my mom is upset being an only child would of been great but that is not how it is
I just want to die . You know it’ll be so much better i belive , no pain just peace.
No worrying about life and people surrounding me.
I can’t remember the day i was really fulfilled of happines .
Life became this scary dream that I can’t seem to wake up from.
Everything just seems to go over and over the same pattern everyday.
Sleeping for ever yeah, that will be perfect.
Never used a website like this before but I feel like it’s the only way I can express myself without people worrying and thinking I’m crazy. I just feel so hopeless and worthless all the time. My bestfriend committed suicide in September 2009 at age 13 and in December 2014 my friend from school also committed suicide at age 15. I have attempted suicide twice, both by overdosing but failed both times. There was a time I loaded a gun and put it to my head but I couldn’t pull the trigger. I’m only 17 years old but I really just don’t feel like I […]
I want you guys to know its ok to want to kill yourself and that its also ok if you want to not ‘give up’ (more like give in). I know there are many various spiritual beliefs so i won’t get into that but i want you to know that the only person who can judge you is you. The opinions of your family, friends, the state or ‘God’ don’t matter. You are what matters. If you feel like it is your time to leave Earth then leave, cleanly, without regret. For those worrying about hurting their loved ones. Imagine if you moved to some […]
Suicidal thoughts again, cluster headaches, crying, urges to cut myself :‘( I’m feeling numb I dunno what to think or do I keep pushing people away my head is fucked up :‘( I’m fucked up I hate myself so much I’m a fucking fat worthless piece of nothing… I guess my bestfriends lied because they left me… when they said they wouldn’t I just want to hit my head off the wall and pull my hair out I have been sick I dunno what to fucking do it’s slowly killing me and no one I know stays enough to help me .. they get scared […]
Let’s see.
No more daily emotional pain that is excruciating – more than any physical pain I have felt.
No more feeling like I want to scratch off my own skin just to take away the feeling of emotional pain
No more trying to face people and smile
No more worrying about jobs/cars/bills
No more worrying about will I find a partner.
No more worrying about my health and which diseases I have because I get a headache.
No more worrying about losing my looks as I get older.
No more worrying about anything anymore.
Just peace and calm and NOTHING. I have just 10 days […]
my anxiety has been out of fucking control these past couple of days and it’s making my depression worse I can’t ever breathe and I’m constantly worrying. I don’t know what to do anymore cutting is starting not to work.
The Break Up
I can see the text now “Ryan we need to talk” that’s how it always starts. This is the 3rd time she’s said this to me. Never has it come to anything but I can see this being it. As of right now my heart is pounding and I am sitting on my bed worrying, shivering, thinking, pleading. Why can’t my heart stop? just stop god damn it. I am 17 and I am truly and excuse my language “fucked” right now I have no friends and I mean that I am not just saying that for sympathy. I have had to repeat […]
I honestly don’t know what to do. Everything’s slowly coming apart at the seams. I’m falling behind in all of my classes and hardly paying attention to my parents. I’m unattractive and most of the people that I hang out with just think of me as really annoying. I bet there’s a line of people waiting to try and kill me. Hell, I’ve even stopped reading books as much as i used to. And it’s not just that I feel unmotivated. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I suppose that’s what it’s like when you live your whole life doing what people tell […]
I’ve stopped worrying when I think about death at night. It’s when it visits in the morning that causes concern. I’ve somehow made it through 50 years…lived a lifetime with bipolar disorder and major depressive disorder…and I’m still here. Somehow I have to beat the odds.
So far, I am.
Goodnight world. Perchance to dream- perchance to sleep…
Well if you read my last post about 2 months ago, you will know what I was worrying about happening in my life with my girlfriend and college. September 5 th. My girlfriend was in her dorm alone and wanted to do something on a Friday night so she went over to a friend of a friends apartment. She made brownies and watched a movie with this guy. At the time she was completely ignoring me, so I did what probably. any college kid would do. Get drunk. I had drank way more than I should have and ended up climbing over the railing of […]
The life becomes unbearably painful for me. I’m slowly losing it.
Everything was just as I always wanted it to be. That is, until the third year of college. I did two faculties simultaneously and I started running out of time, sleeping less and receiving not-perfect grades because of that. Then I failed one exam. That completely broke me.
Suddenly problems appeared, all at once. Problems with being gay and not accepting myself because of it (I never loved anyone and never been with anyone, I consider staying in closet forever), with trust, self-esteem, need of approval, enormous stress, problems with physical appearance, money, family and friends relations. […]
Stressing and worrying
Clammy hands and darting eyes
The world all around
She began to despise
The simplest tasks were scary
The people surrounding
Still hurt her profoundly
As the words from there lips
Not a single one missed
*****, slut and whore
Scars she had to bear
On show for the world
Gone but always their
Not a single person helped her
They all saw her drowning
Still going about there day
Noticing and still frowning
She knew nobody cared
But the image still hurt
As family and friends
Stood around and all glared
Drowning more each day
In the tears she had cried
The girl that once was pure
Nearly […]
I’m new on here. Wow good job stating the obvious I joined because I’m kind of on edge right now for pretty much no reason. I’m worrying myself with how I’m thinking and I dont really know what to do.
To be honest, I just really want out of this life. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take the worrying about my future. I can’t stand the fact that I’m completely ugly. I can’t stand the fact that I can never chose the right religion. I can’t stand the fact that I’m so open about how I feel with everyone in the world. I’m just so fucked up in the mind, and there’s so much that races through my head. There are just so many thoughts, and they’re crazy and weird. I’m crazy and weird. I’m stupid. I’m always fucking something up. People try […]
My Mom’s been dead for almost 5 years this August (heart attack at 53), my Dad’s dead too (Cancer at 56). I’m 34, my birthday is 10 days after Mother’s day. I don’t have anyone from my family left that i care about, but I’m worried about leaving my partner behind, we’ve been together 11 years and i don’t know if he could care for himself. I’ve been thinking about slowly splitting up with him so i could kill myself a while after without worrying about his well being.
Just wish i could get him away, and some where he’ll be ok with out me, […]
‘Ask him why there are hypocrites in the world.’
‘Because it is hard to bear the happiness of others.’
‘When are we happy?’
‘When we desire nothing and realize that possession is only momentary, and so are forever playing.’
‘What is regret?’
‘To realize that one has spent one’s life worrying about the future.’
‘What is sorrow?’
‘To long for the past.’
‘What is the highest pleasure?’
‘To hear a good story.’
— Vikram Chandra
I’m heading down a destructive path I don’t care anymore Im jut kinda done with it. I’m ignoring how I feel it builds up and I freak out have breakdowns and panic attacks. I’m not functioning right. Im to busy helping others trying to make ten happy and worrying about them that I don’t even help myself or even try to. I don’t know what to do I don’t think I want to get help anymore I’m just kinda here.
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