who ever said high school was the best time of their lives should be taken out onto the street and shot. i told everyone the truth. im suicidal and i hate being alive. they all thought i was just angry. cutting seems to be becoming very poplar in my town. my friend nick cuts scittles cuts my ex cuts my cuzin cuts. i used to cut my bio/mom cut, her sister cut. god im so sick of just living. their always telling me cheer up carla find something that makes u happy and stick with it. now that they all know the truth they look at me as if im somesort of cancer patient, ya know their eyes full of pity never letting u out of their site claiming ur sad when ur not. always asking whats wrong. what if there is nothing wrong?! what if im just the queen of screw ups and i just hate being alive why cant that be enough for everyone, but nooooooooooooo they need a reason. lets see hhhhmmmmmm what is the reason oh i know life sucks. and it seems like im the only one whos saying it aloud. fuck im sick of everyone. sick of screwing up. sick of their looks. im sooooooooooo sick of EVERYTHING! nothing seems to make me happy for longer then a 8th of a second.
2 comments
that’s what good families and friends are for I’m afraid, worrying about you. That won’t change as you grow older.
So you’ve figured out that life sucks and is just a long lonely road to the grave. Seems like everyone around you knows this as well and is acting accordingly(they cut). What does ‘saying it aloud’ accomplish anyway? Nevermind them for a minute; you need to either come to terms with sucky living and get comfortable or make the concious decision to(eventually) pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and put more effort into addressing whatever issues plague you. Either or, doesn’t matter; not like there’s any point to existing. Personally, I choose the eat and die road. I’ve got a job, access to 3 meals a day and shelter; I’m foregoing “success”
I hate to say it, but you really are the only person that you can count on. I say the ‘only’ but in this case only means a lot. You have so much potential and it’s up to YOU and ONLY YOU to make the best of out what life has to offer. This world couldn’t be too bad, because there are in fact plenty of people out there. Don’t sell yourself short. High school is full of plenty of dumbasses and that’s just how it goes. I graduated hs 2 years ago. I’m in college now, i don’t have a single friend at my college. I’m a major loner, but i’m getting kick ass grades by working my ass off. i know that i’m the only one who gives a shit about myself. So please, find the courage within you to know that you have the right to be happy. take baby steps xo