I’m a 25 year old addict… Been sober for almost 5 months now and facing the wreckage of my life. Student loans out my ass with no degree… Ex girlfriend is with another guy… Going to live with my uncle next week until I can get on my feet which may be never. I just don’t feel like ill ever be able to live on my own… Like its not possible. Working a job to cancel out life. Not being able to stay clean because I can’t accept a higher power aka god. Now that I’m clean I need to work out or else I’ll gain a ton of weight… But I lack motivation in a horrible way. I mean you would think ODing twice this summer and living in a homeless shelter for a month would be enough right? Sometimes I find myself wishing I would have just died… It was all so painless until I woke up withdrawing. I find myself also longing for another relationship… Like I have anything to offer. I’m sorry for ranting my thoughts are all over.
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Hey, could you maybe try taking one struggle at a time? Like first try getting clean first, and talk to people who have had their lives destroyed by drugs and alcohol. And then, try to find work and build a relationship. I really hope you read this and take it to heart. I know you must feel like there is not point to living anymore, but I really think the best part of your life is yet to come if you just decide to stay strong and work hard. I think the first thing you should do is talk to someone who cares, or at least know what he/she is talking about. Then, you should maybe start carefully planning out what you can do to improve your life. Not broad generalizations, but specific things you can change. I hope you do get better, and I’m not the one to say that life is beautiful, but I really think you can improve you situation, even if it seems impossible now.
Sorry if that seemed like I was rambling, but I really do wish you the best!
Thanks a lot… Even just one positive comment really helps… Just an anonymous person showing that they care enough to post is amazing. Thanks again… It’s really cool that Iv found a place to vent when I’m really down.