I don’t really know what I’m doing here… Â Am I just seeking ways to escape reality? Â Or am I just trying to find someone who will listen? Â Maybe both, I don’t know. Â But what I do know is that I’m tired of being invisible to people. Â My main issue is I’m a passive aggressive type of person, so I won’t fight back if someone picks on or bullies me. Â Which is also an issue because, since I’m passive aggressive people like to pick on me. Â I’ve been abandoned by my friends so many times that its hard for me to get close to people and when I do, I usually only end up hurt. Â I’m starting to feel like I’m just there for people to take there anger out on. Â Like the only reason people befriend me is so they can hurt me and feel better about themselves. Â Do people do that? Â Man, I don’t even know anymore. Â I know I should stick up for myself, stop people from hurting me, but I don’t know… Â I’m scared. Â The thought of being left alone is so terrifying to me that I just… Â I hang around people that I know are going to hurt me or that have already hurt me. Â Yet I’m still invisible to people. Â It feels like they look right through me and its scary. Â I don’t want to be invisible anymore but I don’t want to be hurt anymore. Â But the only reason for me to become visible is to start trusting new people again but if I do that than I might up end up hurt again and I’m ranting now but I just don’t know what to do and urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Â I don’t even understand the point of this post, maybe to stop me from doing something stupid or to find someone with similar feelings. Â I should probably stop typing before I annoy someone with this stupid post… Â Sorry to anyone who read it and got annoyed at it… Â Theres my passive aggressive side, apologizing when I’ve done nothing wrong. Â Well anyway, thanks to anyone who read this silly thing.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
4 comments
You know what I’ve noticed? Everybody questions why they are here. Why question it? If it helps, stay. If it doesn’t, leave. [And you’ll figure that out in due time].
But your life challenges look very hard. I have gone through and am going through every single one of those. Don’t be afraid to take a stand. That’s where I fucked it all up, is I let those bullies roll by on their merry little way, doing their wrong deeds. Hell – I didn’t even care it happened for a while which is the worst part. Then it started happening to me. This should be something you call attention to, it’s not fair you have to sit through it.
I see you got the right train of thought in this post ‘I should stick up . . .’ Yes, yes you should, all of that.
You’re not alone, you’re not hopeless, you’re not at all options being exhausted. I already see the strength you are capable of in real life, by what you have portrayed here which seems honest enough to me.
Good luck InvisibleGirl, I hope you do really, really well 🙂
and u don’t have to apologize all the time..as u said it’s a sign of ur passive aggression..the more u say sorry unnecessarily the more people will roll over u. let others be sorry. u have done nothing wrong.
You need not worry about annoying anyone here. The human social world is full of wolves, worms, and all sorts of creatures.
Sometimes being invisible can work to advantage. It works for rabbits.
But I would guess you want to find people who will treat you decently. You don’t owe anything to persons who use you to fulfill their own purposes. While it’s not my place to give advice, you are within your rights if you cut off contact with people you feel are unhelpful. You don’t even have to give them a reason.
Don’t be sorry for posting here, even if you don’t know why you did it. You just felt like it and that’s fine, you bother no one, and feel free to keep posting or commenting on people’s post. Don’t think anyone will be bothered by it.
Passive people are a magnet for aggresive people, since as you say, they take up their anger on them (most of the times they don’t even realize it). It’s easier to pick on people when you realize they won’t fight back, or do much about it, and it’s bad for them to do so, but it’s also bad that you allow it.
It’s not needed that you turn into an aggresive person in order to stop them, and most likely you won’t be left alone if you defend yourself, maybe the entire opposite might happen. But the worst thing you could do is continue to let people hurt you just because you might be left alone. Which to be honest… might not even be the case, because by not projecting so much passiveness you might start atracting different kinds of people towards you.
As for trusting or not… well, that’s a choice only you can make, but it usually happens naturally, you either trust or not. But even if it sounds cliche, not all people are the same. It doesn’t hurt to be a bit more careful before trusting tho.