Angry Rant+Personal Update 8/26/16

Ok this has been bugging my mind for the past few weeks and I thought I would talk about it on here.
I am a part of a plus size woman’s cosplay group online and this one girl posted admitting she had an eating disorder and lost 35 pounds in two months time and the doctor told her great job keep up the good work. Am I the only one that sees something wrong with this? I mean if this girl was skin and bones the doctor would probably be concerned about her health. But since the girl is plus size she doesn’t see anything wrong here???? I find that extremely fucked up!
But anyways I just got done with my first week of classes as a senior in college and outside I’m smiling and being my kind quiet self. Inside I feel like I’m dieing as I normally do. My appetite is pretty much nonexistent. Literally forcing my self to choke down one meal a day when ever i eat a meal with my sister. I don’t want her to worry about me… I also met up with my ex yesterday for the first time since last December. Looking at him now I think to myself what the fuck was i thinking when I was dating him….. Maybe I was too blind at the time to realize what a arrogant asshole he is. I also found out the girl I have a huge crush on is already seeing someone else. I don’t know what makes me angry the face she treats her (ignoring her in public, always on her bloody phone) or The fact that I waited too damn long to tell her how I feel. Who the fuck am I kidding? I probably never had a god damn shot with her in the first place. I have bawled my eyes out many times over the past few days over this already. the only thing that has been helping me calm down is self harming (mostly pinching my thighs hard enough to leave marks or cutting myself with a razor blade and good music. (thank god for YouTube!) Hmm fun question what do you think one would mostly likely die from first: accidentally cutting bad enough to have internal blood lost, An eating disorder, or a broken heart?