I swear if I hear ” we all know your ex husband loved you more then him.”
Im gonna fucking flip ….because I was not like a psycho path stalker after his next victim while dating. I some sort of heartless monster.
My cousin left her husband for reasons the other day so she is staying with me . so I was told she dose not think I know what it would feel like if my ex died while I was with him if I would be shattered or sad because I don’t know what it’s like to love.
Really I don’t have words .
And thinks if you still care a little bit and try to talk to him because he might have changed. ..or God seprated your so you could be more loving to the next guy . or for him not to be up his mother so much .
God was I really that bad . i was with him for 5 years how could some one fake it for that long .
No one knows of the abuse the cutting the looming thought of I just kill my self or I stay alive because I’m not meant to be happy and I will be fine becuse he is happy as long he is ok and happy I will die inside slowly becuse love dose not exist for me ,just my love for others is real . what I’m feeling is all a lie the pain the betrayal I was putting all behind me . I just could not hearing “I don’t love any him” any more or “I stop loving him ” or ” I never loved him ” because who would put up with all that if I didn’t .
But I was tired of proving it because the only other thing I could have or still do is kill my self . my bigist sacrificed to show my love. Becuase clothes cars money my loyalty my word . It ment nothing. I had to show my love for him because I want to start a life of my own with him with out our families. WHAT .
SORRY IF THIS MAKES NO SENCE ITS IT WAS WRITTEN AS I CRYED TO MYSLEF as always .
2 comments
I didn’t undersand everything you wrote so I’m sorry if my answer is not completly appropriate.
First of all, why would you kill yourself to show anything to anyone? Try to think about who you are and what you really want. Only YOU know about your feelings, make sure to understand that.
Second, I don’t think that life has any purpose. The true purpose it has is the one you give it. Nobody is really meant to be happy and love is not something that comes because you deserve it nor it is something meaningful. You can become happy by finding the things that make you happy and the only way to do that is to live and search for it.
If you feel that some people are harming you, please try to get away from them. Stop trying to care so much about what they think or what they want from you. Make rational decisions based on what you feel is the best for your life. Get up and be happy 🙂
Other people just see what they can. If you’re sure of the love you had for your ex husband that should be more than enough. Sadly, many times in life people will just assume crap and think they’re right, without ever knowing the truth (and even if they did, they’re likely to still believe what they thought was right in the first place…).
I know it’s easier said than done, but taking other’s opinions with a grain of salt is something that should be done on a regular basis (given they’re wrong or lacking information). Otherwise, they’ll always run their mouth and continue harming you with their wrong perceptions of how things are/were.