I have been struggling for several months now with the situation I have found myself in. I have basically destroyed my life without even knowing what I was doing. Ignorance is bliss they say, but if you realize later how ignorant you were, it is a horrible experience. It does not really matter what I have done, let’s just say that I have no control over things anymore and can only sit and wait for my world to implode. Some of the realizations I had in the past months were that I clearly have psychopathic traits, am a narcissist, and, worst of all, a fool […]
lastattempt
So here I am … still.
Everything is the same. Nothing has changed. I am still scared, anxious, afraid of the things that might come due to my stupidity, ignorance, and impulsiveness.
I have everything ready. Just need to find the opportunity and the energy to do it. Even plotting the end seems like too much work. It is terrible. I keep procrastinating and waiting for some sort of stupid sign from somewhere about what to do.
Then today, somehow, I stumbled on this page about near death experiences. I don’t know why I bothered reading the stuff on there, but I did. People talk about it being […]
Hi all,
I posted here a little while ago and now I am still here, although I should not be.
It is all falling apart. Everything. In a matter of 6 months I have realized what a fool and what a loser I am. I could have had it all and now I am bound to lose it all. In a matter of 6 months I have completely destroyed my life by being stupid and impulsive. I cannot believe this.
I was completely unprepared for dealing with the monster that I had created over the past couple of years and when it hit me I panicked and made […]
I am sorry if I ramble, but that’s just one of the character traits that has got me into this situation.
I used to have it all. I was lucky a long time in my life and now my luck has run out. I have been running away from my problems for the past 8 years without even really knowing it.
They say an act breads a habit, and a habit breads character – and that is what has happened to me. Four months ago, it hit me and I realized what I had done and what a monster I had created. It was amazing. For almost […]