Someone help me?

I was a man not so long ago, but i have recently underwent an op and can now enjoy the joys of womanhood. I knew the dfficulties of what would come with this, but i have wated this for so very long. As much as I knew this would be a problem in forthcoming relationships, I could never have foreseen my life as it is now. I met a wonderful man at a bar, and continued a close reltionship with him. However, when it came to the bedroom, I had diffiulties in explaining why my mangina was so…disfigured (the op was done by a half-sighted surgeon). After I had explained, my gorgeous, sensitive boyfriend turned into a monster. He said I was sick, and that I should have accepted the appendage God gave me. I heard him grab his possessions from the bathroon where I sobbed myself as I repeatedly smashed the mirror with my face. After getting a few hours of broken sleep, I woke up and tried to carry out my daily morning tasks to the best of my ability. Now, as all transexuals know, if you have transformed into a woman, you need to keep it open to prevent it healing into a nasty scab. When I looked for my medical dildo, I found instead a large machette with a note from my ex, saying that he should have used it. I cried my eyes out, not just for the fact that my newly designed lady garden was going to congeal into a puffy, bacterial mess, but because I was so grief-stricken from the fact that this guy wanted my to kill myself. I walked over to my father’s house, as he was the only one in my family who accepted my metamorphisis into a beautiful young woman. I thought he would help me to beat off this beast. However, to my horror, I found my father had in fact, died in his bath tub after trying to pot roast a pig with a microwave in the bathroom. Now I don’t know what to do – I have lost the three most important things in my life – my dad, my boyfriend, and my mangina. I have resorted to swallowing live maggots in hope that they will eat me as I rot away, but they always seem to be digested before this occurred. So…any tips?