i tried it didn’t work

I was drinking with some friends major alcohol comsumption… it takes alot to overdose but i did.. My mother found me lying on the floor of my apartment bearly breathing . Went to the hospital when they checked me out they wanted to operate on me to change out my liver its almost done with . I told them no when they told of the results. I was luck to be alive. But I am in so much pain now I want to find the nearest gun blow my brains out. Unfortunity I can not leave to go any where now I’m stuck and in lots of pain with my guts. I hope when I’m able to move around again without by then maybe I’ll do something right for myself for a change and stop being so selfish.